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Writing Samples
Band 6

People aim to keep a balance between their work and other parts of their lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this goal and how can these problems be overcome?

#people #aim #balance #work #parts #lives
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As society develops, an increasing number of
people
 have begun to feel that it would be extremely difficult to keep their
balance
 between jobs and daily
life
 after
work
. It is important to figure out why
this
 phenomenon would happen and how we solve it.
First
 of all, many adults fail to keep a
life
-
work
balance
 probably because of their low working efficiency. By
this
 I mean, not all
people
 are able to be self-discipline workers, completing every job task in
time
. Especially in many highly urbanised and technological areas, it is not rare to see that many adults, during working hours, are usually distracted by a variety of things
such
 as intriguing news on the Internet, phone calls from their friends and so forth.
As a result
, these
people
 might need to
work
 overtime or take their projects home so frequently that they do not have enough
time
 to spend with their family, which would reduce their satisfaction in other parts of their lives.
Besides
, the stresses caused by
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 environment and working systems might
also
 make
people
 feel hard to keep multitasking between raising their family and doing jobs. Nowadays, to acquire higher profits, some firms are extending the working hours of their employees without enough consideration. In turn, considering ever-increasing living costs, the staffs sometimes
also
 need to be obligated to their companies’ harsh discipline to
work
 harder in order to keep their jobs even though they may not want to do that.
Therefore
, it is understandable that some of them would feel disappointed about
life
; after all, working pressure has forced them to give up much leisure
time
 when they can rest themselves and accompany their children. In my opinion, there are many ways to overcome the results mentioned above, one of which is that employers should promote employees’ s satisfaction
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reducing the required weekly working hours and giving them more flexibility in their schedules since a better
work
-
life
balance
 can lead to improvements in employees’ health, loyalty and productivity. Another one is that someone who is
lake
Add an article
the lake
a lake
show examples
 of working efficiency should be provided with more access to training courses aimed at improving necessary job skills so as to reduce the person ‘s fruitless
work
. To summarise, the reasons why
people
 become harder to maintain a
balance
 between their
work
 and family
life
 lie in both themselves and external factors, while I am optimistic that employees’ satisfaction in spare
time
life
 can be increased by more humanized administration and more abundant training resources.
Submitted by sjf199447 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote work
  • unplug
  • boundaries
  • workplace culture
  • societal pressure
  • stress management
  • time management
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