IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

People are now surrounded by advertising. This both affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's life. What extend do you agree or disagree?

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It's true that we are constantly bombarded with advertising, and it's undeniable that
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 has a significant impact on our lives. Here's why I agree that advertising affects what people think is important: * Shaping Desires: Advertising often creates a sense of need for products and services that we might not actually need or want. It can make us believe that happiness comes from owning certain things, or experiencing certain things.
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 can lead to a distorted sense of priorities, where we value material possessions or fleeting experiences over things that truly matter, like relationships, health, and personal growth. * Influence on Values: Advertising often reinforces societal norms and expectations, shaping our perceptions of what is considered "normal" or "desirable."
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 can lead to a focus on superficial aspects of life, like physical appearance or social status, at the expense of more meaningful values. * Creating Dissatisfaction: Advertising frequently presents an idealized version of reality, making our own lives seem less fulfilling.
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 can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction, making us constantly strive for something unattainable.
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, I
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 believe that advertising has some positive aspects: * Information and Awareness: Advertising can be a source of information about new products and services. It can
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 raise awareness about important issues,
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 as health or environmental concerns. * Economic Growth: Advertising plays a vital role in driving economic growth by promoting businesses and stimulating demand for products and services.
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, I agree that advertising has a significant impact on what people think is important, but it's not entirely negative. It's crucial to be aware of the persuasive nature of advertising and to develop critical thinking skills to navigate its influence effectively.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider expanding the conclusion to summarize your main arguments more clearly and restate your position.
task achievement
Use more specific examples in your main points to strengthen your arguments and improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, addressing both negative and positive aspects of advertising.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are well-organized, and each paragraph is focused on a specific point, contributing to clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • omnipresent
  • saturation
  • consumer messages
  • values and priorities
  • culture of consumerism
  • self-worth
  • material possessions
  • dissatisfaction
  • mental health effects
  • unrealistic standards
  • beauty
  • success
  • lifestyles
  • anxiety
  • low self-esteem
  • preferences
  • desires
  • consumer habits
  • critical thinking skills
  • navigate the landscape
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