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Band 7.5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases #development
In today's world, due to the advent of technological devices, many individuals' calls and behaviour are checked for different purposes.
Although
 the
country
 can benefit from
this
 approach in order to improve the
country
's immune system, I believe that there are several disadvantages that can bring dire consequences. On the one hand, while communication of some
people
 is monitored,
such
 as their mobile phone's conversation, the risks of some destructive activities
such
 as the bombing at specific political places will be reduced considerably and
also
 terrorists are easily recognized by their cell phones' calls and army forces can prevent any treat that they might for the
country
. As result, by using technology, the proportion of safety is going to be high.
On the other hand
, frequent monitoring can play a destructive role in society's mind in order to improve the gap between
people
 and government and decrease social privacy.
Firstly
, all humans want to be free and they avoid controlling and checking by someone. Under
such
 circumstances, if they find that they are monitored every day, their trust in the
country
 will be disappeared after a long term, which can directly affect
people
's behaviour.
This
 changing behaviour can lead
people
 against the government and fuel revolution after some time.
Secondly
, governments must respect individual's privacy. Whenever they monitored
people
, it can reveal some secret information, more specifically for political individuals, about
people
's lifestyles. It can be fueled by the misuse and abuse of
people
's secrets. As result countries will be faced with international issues if some information
such
 as political's communications reveal. In conclusion, while a
country
 might benefit from monitoring, the disadvantages of
this
 phenomenon can overweight advantages.
Submitted by maleki.ali94 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Surveillance
  • 2. Monitoring
  • 3. Cell phone tracking
  • 4. Security cameras
  • 5. Public safety
  • 6. Law enforcement
  • 7. Privacy concerns
  • 8. Personal freedom
  • 9. Autonomous
  • 10. Breach of trust
  • 11. Misuse of information
  • 12. Institutional integrity
  • 13. Psychological impact
  • 14. Mental well-being
  • 15. Societal trust
  • 16. Paranoia
  • 17. Transparency
  • 18. Stringent regulations
  • 19. Criminal deterrence
  • 20. Apprehension of criminals
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