IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
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Nowadays, the problem of how to
balance
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gender
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 differences in subject selection in university has provoked a vigorous discussion. Some sections of society shed that universities should remain sexual equal and keep the enrolment of students the same number in each subject, while I do not agree about
this
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 argument due to the following reasons.
Firstly
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, recruiting equal
gender
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 sounded fair and reasonable in
education
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 as well as avoiding any
gender
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 discrimination is a real
balance
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-lose. Actually, to choose the interesting
subjects
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 and good suitable
quality
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 of candidate rather than focusing on the same number of male and female are the real objective.
In other words
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, the
education
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 ‘s aim is to provide equal opportunities to the students who love these
subjects
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 and who have the potential ability to study them well.
For example
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, if some
subjects
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 only consider
gender
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 equality but refuse the candidate who really has interesting in
this
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 subject is ultimately derail the original goal of
education
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 and
also
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 miss the good
quality
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 of faculties.
Furthermore
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, carry out restrictions to ask the
balance
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 of male and female students will cause them
further
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 problems. As a fast-paced society, it is normal to see the job requirement level becoming higher than before and the living costing
also
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 increasing more than in the past. In order to get a battered job and keep a high
quality
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 of lifestyle, more people will compete with the hot
subjects
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. If the major in college only set the
gender
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balance
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 as a requirement but not the
quality
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 of these
subjects
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 would obviously unfair to those who have the ability to learn well in
this
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 major because of their
gender
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 limits. The candidate number occupied by the person who only fit with their
gender
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 requirement is quite unfair. In conclusion,
education
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 is to provide them equal opportunities to those opponents to acquire knowledge rather than to compulsory
balance
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gender
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 which has already betray the original goal of
education
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. So as the reason above entirely expresses my disagreement about
this
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 topic.
Submitted by jyo87 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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