You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

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People
Use synonyms
often put forward the argument whether technological development has helped
people
Use synonyms
bond with each other, or it has distanced us
instead
Linking Words
. From my perspective, advancement in technology has led to reduced
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
communications and
consequently
Linking Words
weakened relationships. Considering that,
Linking Words
although
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
despite the geographical barriers technology
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
enhanced connectivity between humans,
people
Use synonyms
are now more engrossed in their screens and forget to have
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
conversations with
people
Use synonyms
around them. On one hand, advancement in robotics has solved the issue of connectivity and brought
people
Use synonyms
together through
introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
show examples
of platforms like
Skpe
Correct your spelling
Skype
, Instagram, Facebook, etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, an individual living abroad can conveniently connect with family and update them using these social sites on technical devices.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, Media fosters convenient ways to communicate with one another.
Therefore
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, computing machines encourage connectivity through media.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Technological advancement has been addictive and
hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
spend too much time with their computers and lack interpersonal connections.
For example
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, on
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average approximately 40% of
Amercians
Correct your spelling
Americans
are addicted to their mobile phones and the numbers are likely to go up in the near future. These individuals
kill
Verb problem
spend
show examples
all their spare time on social networking sites or playing games, leaving no room for building physical connections with friends, family and co-workers.
Thus
Linking Words
, technology is
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
proven to be disadvantageous for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that technological development
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
brought humans together through social media presence, I believe it is a negative development.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the addiction
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
screens; explaining why
people
Use synonyms
are losing
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
connections with loved ones and
instead
Linking Words
spending their time online relentlessly.
Submitted by bidingmehakjot on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen your essay by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Add more diverse examples or evidence to support your points, potentially drawing from both personal experience and broader societal instances.
task achievement
You successfully discuss both sides of the debate, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a good mastery of cohesive devices, linking ideas well between paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively while clearly stating your position on the matter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fostering
  • Global connections
  • Isolation
  • Diminished
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cultural and geographical divides
  • Paradox
  • Social media
  • Alienating
  • Family dynamics
  • Echo chambers
  • Polarize
  • Marginalized communities
  • Inclusivity
  • Maintaining relationships
  • Evolution of communication
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Technological advances
  • Collaboration
  • Remote isolation
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