You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
People
often put forward the argument whether technological development has helped people
bond with each other, or it has distanced us instead
. From my perspective, advancement in technology has led to reduced in person
communications and Add a hyphen
in-person
consequently
weakened relationships. Considering that, although
despite the geographical barriers technology Correct word choice
apply
had
enhanced connectivity between humans, Wrong verb form
has
people
are now more engrossed in their screens and forget to have real life
conversations with Add a hyphen
real-life
people
around them.
On one hand, advancement in robotics has solved the issue of connectivity and brought people
together through introduction
of platforms like Correct article usage
the introduction
Skpe
, Instagram, Facebook, etc. Correct your spelling
Skype
For instance
, an individual living abroad can conveniently connect with family and update them using these social sites on technical devices. Subsequently
, Media fosters convenient ways to communicate with one another. Therefore
, computing machines encourage connectivity through media.
On the other hand
, Technological advancement has been addictive and hence
, people
spend too much time with their computers and lack interpersonal connections. For example
, on an
average approximately 40% of Correct article usage
apply
Amercians
are addicted to their mobile phones and the numbers are likely to go up in the near future. These individuals Correct your spelling
Americans
kill
all their spare time on social networking sites or playing games, leaving no room for building physical connections with friends, family and co-workers. Verb problem
spend
Thus
, technology is infact
proven to be disadvantageous for Correct your spelling
in fact
the
society.
In conclusion, in spite of the fact that technological development Correct article usage
apply
had
brought humans together through social media presence, I believe it is a negative development. Wrong verb form
has
This
is due to
the addiction of
screens; explaining why Change preposition
to
people
are losing in person
connections with loved ones and Add a hyphen
in-person
instead
spending their time online relentlessly.Submitted by bidingmehakjot on
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coherence cohesion
Strengthen your essay by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Add more diverse examples or evidence to support your points, potentially drawing from both personal experience and broader societal instances.
task achievement
You successfully discuss both sides of the debate, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a good mastery of cohesive devices, linking ideas well between paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively while clearly stating your position on the matter.