IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news event. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the contemporary era,
due to
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 the great amelioration in technological advancement, social
media
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 has become significantly popular. Nowadays, a reliance on virtual
platforms
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 has triggered overly usage of electronic gadgets; eventually, it offers various sources to communicate with each other. I believe that
while
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this
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 trend brings certain drawbacks, it addresses significantly more compelling benefits. To commence with, dependence on social
media
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platforms
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 perhaps yields detrimental effects on society, especially youngsters. Extremely engaging with these kinds of devices can be proven as a greater distraction for individuals.
Furthermore
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, chatting with someone on social
media
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 demands much more time;
as a result
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, it causes the wastage of valuable and quality time.
Additionally
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, keep in touch with people on social
media
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platforms
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 negatively acts as risky and fraudulent.
On the other hand
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, improved technology has resulted in many advantages for the community. The foremost is convenience.
This
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 is because, through social virtual
platforms
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, people can talk with their relatives at any time and from anywhere.
For example
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, people in my country are greatly influenced by
this
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 convenient method of communication because they can talk internationally, no matter what the distance they are.
Moreover
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, staying connected to the internet widens knowledge and perspectives. These social websites provide an enormous source of information, which is effectively useful for the rudimentary and everyday life. To add to
this
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, it enables individuals to expand their views globally by keeping in contact with international news channels on mobile phones. To
encapsulate
Verb problem
summarise
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,
although
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 contacting social
media
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 apps produces adverse impacts on society,
such
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 as distraction, fraud incidents, and time-wasting activities, I think it is much more beneficial to connect
persons
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with people
show examples
 globally, communicate effectively, and broaden knowledge.

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task response
Task response: The essay answers the question and shows both sides and a final view. To raise the score, give more clear main ideas and more real examples for each side. Keep to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use more link words to show how ideas go from one part to the next. Use a simple plan: intro, two body parts, and a short ending. Try to keep one idea per sentence.
structure
Clear layout: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
Shows both good and bad sides of social media.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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