IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face, is this a positive or negative development?

#people #face #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays prefer to socialize through social media
instead
Linking Words
 of meeting them in person.
People
Use synonyms
 are avoiding going out and meeting their friends and family, confining themselves in a room, and using online platforms to communicate, which leads to isolating themselves, distant relations with close ones, and developing mental illnesses. For these reasons,
People
Use synonyms
 choosing online to socialize is a negative development.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 choose to socialize through online platforms, they spend more
time
Use synonyms
 in their rooms, which could result in isolating themselves from society. when the person is completely isolated,
this
Linking Words
 could lead to mental
illness
Use synonyms
 and depression.
Also
Linking Words
, not only mental
illness
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 spending more
time
Use synonyms
 online could cause numerous health problems,
such
Linking Words
 as obesity, high blood pressure, and joint problems due to sitting in the same position for hours and not having enough movements.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 preferring online communications could result in physical and mental
illness
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are
people
Use synonyms
 on social media who create fake identities, Impersonate other persons, or show fake personalities. Many
people
Use synonyms
 could easily be impressed by these online
imposters
Use synonyms
, who could later harm and attack them, especially teenagers who are impressionable are the victims of these
imposters
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are numerous frauds and
scammers
Use synonyms
 online. As many
people
Use synonyms
 are spending their
time
Use synonyms
 online, they could fall into trap of these
scammers
Use synonyms
. There are many cases where
people
Use synonyms
 have lost a huge amount of money to online fraud.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 could easily fall into trap of online
imposters
Use synonyms
 and
scammers
Use synonyms
 as they spend more
time
Use synonyms
 online. To conclude, it is a negative development because choosing online platforms to socialize has many disadvantages,
Such
Linking Words
 as it could cause physical and mental
illness
Use synonyms
, and
people
Use synonyms
 could easily fall into trap of online
scammers
Use synonyms
 and
imposters
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by devina on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: