IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
In recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, the level of
education
 is increasing causing high
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 in studying. The advantage of the break after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
finishing high school and starting university studies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is to enable them
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 and save enough money for the furthering of their
education
. Working may be very important in the cases
were
Replace the word
where
show examples
 the student is independent in other to meet up with the university level with will be
advaceble
Correct your spelling
advisable
 to work and earn money. The disadvantage for young students is that most of the young once you have someone to depend on go faster in their
education
 than the independent students. There may be
Add an article
a delay
show examples
delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
show examples
 in achieving the set goals of
education
.
Submitted by ejiromillicent on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: