IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Walking is known to be beneficial for health, yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days? What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people
Walking is an amazing exercise to be considered in our daily routine as it improves both the physical and mental well-being of the practitioner.
However
, there are those who do not even walk to nearby shops or use staircases in shopping malls or hospitals. The reasons and solutions for
such
 human behaviour are discussed as follows. Immense dependence on technological facilities and a luxurious lifestyle are the prime causes behind the avoidance of walking. Everyone likes to prefer comfort and
people
 are financially stable to an extent that all facilities are available at their fingertips.
For instance
, remote control of televisions, wifi or Bluetooth-equipped air conditioners and fans prevent the consumers from being moved out of their sitting place.
Additionally
, transportation infrastructure (both public and private) advancements offer high mobility without the need for walking. Even though, the rising standard of living eliminated hardships faced,
people
, are under the pressure of lifestyle diseases
such
 as diabetes, hypertension, and obesity. Illness and unhealthy body conditions can force
people
 to follow a traditional lifestyle that involves routine exercise like walking.
Moreover
, due to the same reason of sickness,
people
 themselves become aware of the significance of walking and might pursue it. Apart from
this
 natural cause, some common methods of tackling
this
 problem are provided as below. Medical practitioners and health workers can conduct campaigns for creating awareness about the importance of exercise. Shopping malls and multi-storeyed buildings should be constructed eliminating lifts and elevators. Government can impose rules on using public transport for a certain number of days in a week and advise travellers to reach out to nearby locations by walking. To conclude, the common reason for avoiding walking by
people
 is due to the high dependence on transport facilities and technology. By creating proper awareness the habit of walking can be developed among
people
.
Submitted by athira.m.mohan969 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: