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Band 5.5

In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourage the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#parts #world #coverage #sport #television #people #discourage #part
Whether live
sports
 on television change youngsters from actually playing
sports
 in real life is a controversial issue. In my opinion,
TV
sports
 live strongly encourage young
people
join
Add the particle
to join
show examples
sports
.
This
 essay will discuss the benefits of media and the effects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 famous athletes. Beyond all question,
TV
sports
 live has some benefits for young
people
 and the most important one is that provide a chance for them to have an access of
sports
 which they never experience before . Many
sports
 channels broadcast non-stop sporting competitions and young
people
 are more likely to
try
Add the particle
totry
show examples
 play outdoor games when they
are interest
Change the verb form
are interested
show examples
 in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain
sports
 that are played on
TV
. Because
youngests
Correct your spelling
youngest
 will lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
sports
 if they do not understand how these games actually play.
For example
，the number of baseball players in Guiyang increased from 500 to 1670
people
 during these 2 years. Compare with teenagers in 2010，them become a big fan of baseball due to the new
sports
 lives on
TV
. So that，Non-stop
sports
 on
TV
 in a way encourage youngsters from becoming sportsmen themselves.       
In
addition
Add a comma
, addition
show examples
，
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 stars may become a brand new reason that young
people
 play
sports
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
Add an article
the outside
an outside
show examples
 area. They might be attracted by
sports
 celebrities’ fantastic life, excellent capacity or something else. So that，they might set these famous athletes as
Add an article
a goal
the goal
show examples
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
 to achieve and do
sports
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
 to become
a good athletes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good athlete
good athletes
show examples
 as their
idol
Fix the agreement mistake
idols
show examples
.
For instance
，Jordan is the idol of a little boy and his dream is
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 a famous basketball player
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
 Jordan.
Finally
，
this
 little boy
join
Change the verb form
joins
show examples
 the NBA and is
know
Change the form of the verb
known
show examples
 as Black Mamba. His name is Kobe，the famous
basktball
Correct your spelling
basketball
 player in the hall of fame.
This
 example
emphasize
Change the verb form
emphasizes
show examples
 the importance of the force of a role model for young
people
. To conclude, Sport lives on
TV
 provide a channel for young
people
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
 more about
sports
 and these
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 stars become a motivation for young
people
 to do
sports
. I strongly believe that it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 young
people
 to do
sports
Submitted by Esther on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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