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Band 3.5

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impacts #populations
The world nowadays is no comparison to the past. With the advent of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century, medical and hospital undergrowing significant growth in order to save
peoples
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
, which directly or indirectly
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 to increase the
life
 span of
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. With the
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 in
life
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 society is facing. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I shall describe the
problem
 and solutions for the same.
Firstly
, the major
problem
 that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 is facing is an increase in
population
.
With the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 constant rise in
population
 impacts directly on
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 sector, which causes that
peoples
 are not getting the best services.
Secondly
,
heavy
Add an article
the heavy
show examples
population
 is impacting the number of
job
vaccancy
Correct your spelling
vacancy
 available in the market, due to good health condition of old
peoples
, they
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
 more and more nowadays, causing
job
vaccancy
Correct your spelling
vacancy
 for young
peoples
. From the research of several scientific universities, the data collected from
this
 study appears to support that increase
life
 span is impacting new
job
vaccancies
Correct your spelling
vacancies
 by 20%. The issue of increasing level of
population
 is very problematic in most of the
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
. To improve
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 must
defined
Change the verb form
define
show examples
 the maximum age for the people to work in
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. Which will help to generate the
job
 for
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 audience.
Correct your spelling
Government
Goverment
Correct article usage
The goverment
show examples
 can
also
 spend the fund for old age people for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical and hospital facility, which will not impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others facilities.
Although
 there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to
this
 several related
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 can be anticipated.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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