IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

What is it in the mass media that has negative effects on teenagers and what measures should governments take to solve this problem?

#mass #media #effects #teenagers #measures #governments
In contemporary life, the overwhelming majority of
media
 has gained in popularity and made a paradigm shift in teenagers’
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
This
 tendency brings several drawbacks on the adolescents and definite actions should be adopted to tackle
this
 problem. Due to the intensification of the Internet, disadvantages are anticipated.
Firstly
, an expansion in online
media
 with a huge amount of access to
such
 social networks as Facebook or Instagram in which users share unofficial and uncensored information with others is unpredictable.
In other words
, without control and prevention from parents, children are easily capable of getting access to sources that contain violence and gory sights. In fact, crimes
such
 as sexual activities, drug abuse or animal murder
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to be uploaded rather than a positive development. The
further
 issue is that the lack of ability to identify information of immature kids could lead to online scams, which may result in the leakage of personal data and loss of money.
Last
 but not least, there is a significant increase in the number of teenagers who becomes over-reliant on social
media
 because they prefer to engage in a sedentary lifestyle, which may cause a risk of obesity and mental health. There would be some compelling measures that government could implement to cope with.
To begin
 with, a group of well-qualified online security guards who are rigidly trained to censor online content on social
media
 should be considered as a feasible approach to curtail a vast amount of harmful websites.
In addition
, the government could impose a new strict policy to make sure that online producers should take responsibility for what is appeared on their platform and severe punishment should be applied to mitigate the problem. To sum up, the ubiquity of
media
 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negatives impacts on the young generation and becomes even worse unless there are serious solutions from the government.
Submitted by trankienan259 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: