Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however, believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #factor #happiness

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It is true that every person needs

money

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to lead a happy

life

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. Some people think

happiness

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is directly linked to the richness of an individual.

However

Linking Words

, to a great extent, I believe that

one

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can live a peaceful

life

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without having a high income.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses both viewpoints

Remove the comma

apply

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and evaluates the reasons behind supporting the latter argument. Admittedly,

money

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plays a crucial role in the survival of a person in the modern world.

This

Linking Words

is because even the basic amenities have their cost without which

one

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cannot imagine a good

life

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For instance

Linking Words

, for healthcare facilities or for buying food items,

one

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must have enough cash to meet their daily requirements.

Moreover

Linking Words

happiness

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is impossible without

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apply

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quality education and a good house for the family to live. In fact, every materialistic item required for a decent lifestyle is linked with

money

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However

Linking Words

, considering currency as the primary factor for a joyful

life

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is not mandatory as it has its own drawbacks. Being rich does not guarantee mental peace as the majority of wealthy people generally suffer from stress and anxiety. To illustrate,

Correct word choice

apply

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per

Happiness

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Index Report published annually by

United

Correct article usage

the United

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Nations Organisation reveals that citizens in countries having income are more satisfied with their lifestyle,

whereas

Linking Words

people in developed nations suffer from depression and isolation. Spending time with family members is imperative to find

happiness

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and it costs nothing. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

without

money

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one

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cannot think about a good lifestyle, it should not be considered

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apply

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the only factor of

happiness

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. In my opinion,

happiness

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is linked with mental peace and well-being and it has nothing to do with

money

Use synonyms

Submitted by Arshdeep on Mon Jul 19 2021

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task response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however, believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

Now a day the surveillance is happening at almost all public places. Is it good or perceived bad by people? What are advantages and disadvantages?