Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however, believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that every person needs

money

Use synonyms

to lead a happy

life

Use synonyms

. Some people think

happiness

Use synonyms

is directly linked to the richness of an individual.

However

Linking Words

, to a great extent, I believe that

one

Use synonyms

can live a peaceful

life

Use synonyms

without having a high income.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses both viewpoints

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and evaluates the reasons behind supporting the latter argument. Admittedly,

money

Use synonyms

plays a crucial role in the survival of a person in the modern world.

This

Linking Words

is because even the basic amenities have their cost without which

one

Use synonyms

cannot imagine a good

life

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, for healthcare facilities or for buying food items,

one

Use synonyms

must have enough cash to meet their daily requirements.

Moreover

Linking Words

happiness

Use synonyms

is impossible without

Remove the article

apply

show examples

quality education and a good house for the family to live. In fact, every materialistic item required for a decent lifestyle is linked with

money

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, considering currency as the primary factor for a joyful

life

Use synonyms

is not mandatory as it has its own drawbacks. Being rich does not guarantee mental peace as the majority of wealthy people generally suffer from stress and anxiety. To illustrate,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

per

Happiness

Use synonyms

Index Report published annually by

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

Nations Organisation reveals that citizens in countries having income are more satisfied with their lifestyle,

whereas

Linking Words

people in developed nations suffer from depression and isolation. Spending time with family members is imperative to find

happiness

Use synonyms

and it costs nothing. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

without

money

Use synonyms

one

Use synonyms

cannot think about a good lifestyle, it should not be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the only factor of

happiness

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

happiness

Use synonyms

is linked with mental peace and well-being and it has nothing to do with

money

Use synonyms

Arshdeep

Jul 19, 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, there has been a common belief among individuals claiming ,that people at present should take action to preserve our planet for future generations. I personally support this statement, as now it is our responsibility to protect the environment, and in the forthcoming ,paragraphs I shall explicate my view with some justifications.
6
band
Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their familles but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
A lot of the aged population do not stay with his or her families but they are usually sent to care homes or nursing houses. This tendency can have a certain number of advantages, but it is also likely to result in negative outcomes.
6.5
band
Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basic produced by other counties have to be transported foe a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
International trade has led to an increase in many things, including daily necessity products, which are produced and transported by other countries. While this system brings numerous benefits, it also poses challenges. The question is whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and to answer this, we need to examine both sides of the issue.
6.5
band
Some people believe that if the police force carries guns, it will encourage higher levels of violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The debate surrounding the arming of police forces with guns is a complex and multifaceted issue. Some people argue that equipping the police with firearms could lead to an increase in violence within society. While there are valid concerns on both sides of this debate, I believe that arming the police is necessary for maintaining public safety, though it must be accompanied by strict regulations and oversight to prevent misuse.
6
band
The system used for rubbish/garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. This is causing problems for you and your neighbors. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter •Describe how the rubbish collection system is not working properly •Explain how this is affecting you and your neighbors •Suggest what should be done about the problem
I am writing this letter regarding the garbage collection system in our area.

Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving happiness. Others, however, believe that money has nothing to do with happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their familles but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basic produced by other counties have to be transported foe a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that if the police force carries guns, it will encourage higher levels of violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?