IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Companies that use fossil fuels should be taxed more than companies that use green energies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that organizations that
use
Use synonyms
 petroleum should be taxed more than those
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 renewable energy sources.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with the statement because it reduces pollution and is economically beneficial to the
government
Use synonyms
. The primary factor, status, should impose more duties on companies using non-renewable energy sources for running their operations. As the taxes go up, the operation
also
Linking Words
 increases.
Therefore
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, in order to remain more feeble, these organizations would turn to a more eco-friendly method of processing their businesses.
As a result
Linking Words
, the pollution level of the country would go down.
For example
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, since 2017, Klj's policy of keeping its business 20% dependent on clean energy has reduced its carbon footprint significantly.
Moreover
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, the extra tariffs imposed on the companies using coal and petroleum will have economic benefits for the
government
Use synonyms
.
Then
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, these taxes will be added to the
government
Use synonyms
's revenue, which in turn can be used in other sectors like healthcare or charity, which always require investment to meet the ever-changing medical standards.
For instance
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, the
government
Use synonyms
 of India's and China's record collection of GST in
this
Linking Words
 financial year has enabled the finance minister to improve the budget allocated for health care and charity people.  In conclusion, mandating duties on corporations that
use
Use synonyms
 coal and petroleum to run their businesses will be a good initiative because it will encourage them to
use
Use synonyms
 green energies, ultimately lowering the pollution level, and will bring the
government
Use synonyms
 monetary benefits that can be utilized in other areas that need it.

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Task Response
Expand the introduction a little to include more background or definitions related to fossil fuels and green energies.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more varied linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
Ensure examples are detailed and clearly connect back to your main points. This will improve both coherence and credibility.
Introduction/Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
Task Achievement
Good use of specific examples like Klj’s policy and the GST in India and China to support the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical progression of ideas, from environmental benefits to economic advantages, is well done.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable
  • renewable resources
  • environmental degradation
  • carbon tax
  • incentivize
  • eco-friendly
  • greenhouse gases
  • sustainability
  • fossil fuels
  • alternative energy
  • emissions
  • environmental sustainability
  • subsidies
  • corporate responsibility
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