IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Most societies have their homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money
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It is important to consider how to help the homeless
people
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 who are living on the streets. Some
people
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 believe that the best way to tackle
this
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 problem is to give them cash. I disagree with
this
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 view. In my opinion, giving financial support to the homeless
people
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 would make the situation only worse as it has the chance to make them more dependent on
people
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’s generosity.
To begin
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 with, giving
money
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 to homeless
people
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 will do more harm than any good.
This
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 may lead to being lazy to
work
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 to earn
money
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 for themselves.
Moreover
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, it actually acts as an excuse for them to
work
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 through hardship and they would consider
this
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 as an easy opportunity so that, They would likely stay homeless forever rather than utilize
this
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money
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 for their enhancement.
For instance
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,
There
Correct your spelling
there
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 are many
people
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 living on the streets who are capable of doing manual
work
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 but
instead
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 of achieving
money
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 by working hard, they only want to enjoy the benefits. To illustrate, If the authority agreed to finance them,
then
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 the individuals who are already fighting to make their ends meet, will be discouraged to be independent.
Therefore
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, donating
money
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 would have a negative influence on them.
Furthermore
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, It may be a better way to aid the homeless by putting them in a community shelter for a limited period and
also
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 get them involved in some
work
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. To improve their employability, the government should give them vocational training. The reason for
this
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 is that they would be able to gain experience by doing
this
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, which would not only enable them to apply for a job but
also
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 give them a chance to buy a house with their hard-earned
money
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. To conclude,
instead
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 of giving financial benefits to homeless
people
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, the government should provide them with training that will help them to find a job and earn
money
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. And when they have
money
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 they can buy a home on their own.
Submitted by tnakkawita on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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