In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

#countries #phones #development

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Payment

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using mobile

phones

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started

from

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show examples

the era of smartphone use. When people are using smartphones, many developers see

this

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as an opportunity to create more convenient ways for smartphone usage, especially in

payment

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Payment

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using mobile

phones

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is normally used nowadays. Even though

this

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technology has many advantages, there are

also

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some disadvantages to using

this

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. In

this

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essay, I will explain some of my views on

this

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technology which I believe there are more advantages than disadvantages. We cannot deny that

payment

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using mobile

phones

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is very convenient, we can pay for something in seconds at any time and anywhere as long we have a connection to the internet.

This

Linking Words

payment

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method

also

Linking Words

makes transactions faster, simpler, and

effective

Correct quantifier usage

more effective

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. Some of the developers

also

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add extra security features

such

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as one-time passwords, biometrics, or tokens that make users feel safer when doing transactions. With all of these advantages, we can see that businesses nowadays are rapidly increasing in speed, and volume, and

also

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they are

also

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expanding quickly.

On the other hand

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, cyber crime

also

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increasing lately. Even though

payment

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through mobile

phones

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has many security features, there is

also

Linking Words

a loophole that many irresponsible people use to take advantage of

this

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technology. One of the common

crime

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crimes

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that almost happens to everyone is their data leaked. The hacker collects

this

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data and sells it to another company for a database or worse makes a fake account for their own business. The next disadvantage is

also

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we might spend more than we need because of the convenience of

payment

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and the small amounts of things we purchase. In conclusion,

while

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payment

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using mobile

phones

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is an effective way for transactions, I think it is

also

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better if the security of

payment

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can be more developed so as users we can use

payment

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safely and make business grow faster and bigger.

Submitted by wand on Mon Apr 01 2024

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Task Response

Ensure your essay maintains a clear focus throughout. It started strong but slightly diverged towards discussing cybercrime intensively, which, although relevant, started to overshadow the primary topic of mobile payment advantages and disadvantages.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider diversifying your linking phrases to better guide the reader through your argument. This will enhance the flow of your essay further.

Task Achievement

Including specific examples to support your points is excellent. Aim to balance examples across both advantages and disadvantages to provide a more rounded argument.

Introduction & Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion effectively framed your topic, providing a clear overview and succinct summary of your argument.

Logical Structure

Your argument structure is logical, making it easy for readers to follow your thought process.

Supported Main Points

You've provided a range of advantages related to mobile payments, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Convenience
Streamlining
Encryption
Biometrics
Digital economy
Digital divide
Economic inequalities
Privacy concerns
Surveillance
Misuse of information
Over-reliance
Cybersecurity breaches
Network outages

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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individual rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?