Some people think that it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illnesses, rather than funding the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is currently a contentious argument over whether to invest in transforming people more healthy and active,
instead
Linking Words
of spending money to treat those who are already ill. I somewhat agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because having a better diet and practising sports would prevent illness, but it is necessary keeping help those who struggle to eat better. The main reason why I support the notion that the government should invest in a healthy lifestyle is that keeping people fit would decrease their chance of getting a disease.
Although
Linking Words
the importance of workout and practice sports is to have a strong body, it is so equally important to eat healthy food and mainly to avoid junky food. To illustrate, I lost about eight pounds in four months by adequating my diet and running ten miles per day, whereas two years ago I had gained five pounds because of bad alimentation and few hours of sleep.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I support the notion that it is necessary to maintain investments in those who are sick,
this
Linking Words
is due to the fact that many individuals need
firstly
Linking Words
to stay well from their illness and
then
Linking Words
start to pursue a better way of living. To clarify, an obese person could receive treatment from health’s professionals while starting to adopt exercises align with a strict diet. In conclusion, I somewhat agree with the importance of investing public money in persuading a healthy way of living because
this
Linking Words
could bring excellent results in few years of execution, but somewhat agree too that it is important to fund treatment for those who have
this
Linking Words
necessity because they need to have the qualified assistance to stay alive. Given
this
Linking Words
situation, it seems that the government should start to invest a small percentage of the budget in improving peoples’ habits and having goods results, they should continue to increase the total amount of investments.
Submitted by eskanteio on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: