IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.

#countries #home #people
Nowadays, having a place
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 is credited to one of the most important basic
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
 in our society. While
people
 in some countries believe that owning a
home
 is a great deal, it might be a contentious issue for some
people
 who live in the big cities considering the payment that
absolutely
Add a missing verb
is absolutely
show examples
 higher than renting for it. We must acknowledge that owning a
home
 could be a good investment. As the tremendous growth of interest rates have been recorded in some countries for a decade, it would be beneficial for us
investing
Change the verb form
to invest
show examples
 in
this
 property.
Furthermore
, it might be a greater number of growth would
be take
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 place in the future.
In addition
, owning a
home
 could give us a guarantee in our lives in a better way at a moment.
However
, investing in
this
 type of property necessitates
people
 an enormous capital of money. It would be difficult for
people
 who live in big cities to fulfil
this
 requirement. Not only the capital expenditures
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 operation and maintenance expenditures that should buyers think
before
Change preposition
about before
show examples
 investing in
this
 property.
In addition
, some
people
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not live for a long time in a specific city; they should move to another city (or even country) any time because of reasons relating to work.
Thus
, it might be reasonable for
people
 to choose a renting one, which is cheaper and affordable for
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of citizens. In conclusion, it might be clear for me to believe that the importance of owning a
home
 is a negative situation. Having a
rent
Replace the word
rented
show examples
home
 might be suitable for
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of
people
 in big cities in
this
 modern and highly expensive era.
Submitted by kardina.nawassa.s on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!