In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many nations, young
children
are involved in different types of employment. It is believed by some that
such
an approach is completely inaccurate, whereas others consider it to provide work understanding. While working at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age can teach them knowledge of
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
, I believe that more than that focusing only on studies is crucial to secure a better future. Getting employed at a younger age can help
children
in knowing the key aspects of the job
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
show examples
. Many
children
while working will get to know about the latest technologies which are valuable in the market and based on that they can plan their study courses.
This
will help them in selecting those areas that can guarantee them a better job later on.
For example
, many
children
in Argentina who had worked in some employments during childhood gets employed at a reputed organization after their studies. Despite
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
I believe that during school age, students should only concentrate on their education.
Submitted by ishav on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: