IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#media #people #governments #laws #years #age #accounts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Social
media
Use synonyms
 today is extremely significant to a majority of the population, especially the younger generation. Many teenagers find it exceptionally convenient and necessary for communication and entertainment.
However
Linking Words
, not everyone is able to use social
media
Use synonyms
 responsibly, which gave rise to the idea of making it accessible to only those older than eighteen years of age. Though there are negatives,
such
Linking Words
 as cyber-bullying, or being too distracted by these modern
media
Use synonyms
, there are issues surrounding most things in life. It is a choice to go onto a social
media
Use synonyms
 website, and many younger people are capable of managing accounts without any difficulties. It is not the government’s responsibility to monitor under eighteen-year-olds;
that is
Linking Words
 for the parents. Statistics show that over eighty per cent of teens use a form of online social
media
Use synonyms
. It allows them to chat online, easily stay in contact with friends and family across the world, and see updates on others’ lives (through text, photos or videos). Social
media
Use synonyms
 is a way to express thoughts or ideas and to stay in contact with the rest of the world. To not permit one of the largest Internet-using demographics to use social
media
Use synonyms
 because a few people have problems with it is an irrational and unfair restriction. Not only would profit be lost with fewer users, but controlling who creates accounts and monitoring proof of age would be difficult as well. I believe that laws should not make social
media
Use synonyms
 inaccessible to young people under eighteen;
this
Linking Words
 would be unnecessary and absurd.
Submitted by Hai Linh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: