Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some hold the view that recent developments allow
people
to rely on
others
more compared to the past. Other states that the public has become more independent.
This
essay addresses both points of view and the reason why I believe that individuals have come to depend on
others
these days. On the one hand, some
people
opine that the population become self-reliant because modernisation fosters
people
to be isolated. Industrialisation
tranfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
the majority of workers from blue colour labours to white colour workforces and increased jobs in cities resulted in breaking regional communities' bonds and affection.
For example
, in Japan, nearly almost every young adult living in the countrysides decide to leave their hometowns after graduating high school or university since jobs are limited.
As a result
, bonds with their relatives and communities are not strong as they used to be.
Nevertheless
, I consider
people
become dependent increasingly because technological progress enabled the public to connect with
others
substantially. With the prevalence of smartphones and social media, they are able to communicate with
others
anytime at any place. The increase in the frequency of communication drives adults' actions.
For example
, one of my flatmates spends her pastime calling her friend because she does not want to feel lonely by being alone. Whenever she has time, she talks with her friends over the phone to discuss any topics from subtle things,
such
as today's lunch, to dissertation in the kitchen.
Thus
, the invention of phones and social media made the public rely on each other mentally. In conclusion,
although
some argue that population become independent by modernisation, I believe they become dependent inextricably because of the advance in technology.
Submitted by yukappy.961106 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnectedness
  • globalization
  • digital communication platforms
  • mutual dependency
  • economic globalization
  • international supply chains
  • social validation
  • advancements in technology
  • individualism
  • technological tools
  • smartphones
  • personal computers
  • cultural shift
  • self-sufficiency
  • individualistic attitudes
  • personal achievement
  • self-care
  • interdependency
  • societal structures
  • emotional support
  • underlying foundations
  • human interaction
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