IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Government should spend more money on education than sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #sports
There has an opinion offered by the general public that a country’s financial potential should be taken advantage of for educational purposes rather than sports ones. Personally, I totally advocate
this
 point of view and give my explanation and examples below.
Firstly
, when the
government
 invests more money in the educational system,
as a result
, establishing more schools accumulating effective teaching methods and adequate facilities.
For example
, the Vietnamese
government
 passed through an education-driven law that providing a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of funds for applying technological advancement in teaching and learning which is deemed a real breakthrough. It is an opportunity for all students to widen their horizon of knowledge, fostering them to boost their potential abilities and desire to contribute to their country in the future.
Therefore
, educational investment undeniably will make interest for in long term. Another plausible explanation is that while providing money for sports events only brings the reputation and profit for a country in an aspect, education is a huge process that affects positively on countless factors in society. It is clear to realize that with an improved educational structure, we can enhance the strength of scientific research, producing more prominent artists and medical achievements. A fundamental background should be made with the support of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to reach our educational purpose. In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
government
 should spend a large amount of money on education due to the fact that its benefits far outweigh that of sport . In foreseeable future,
this
 perspective will prove its rationality and will make a profit for any country believing it.
Submitted by lamnguyenphuc03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: