In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?
Retirement
is viewed differently depending on what your status in life is. Use synonyms
People
who are fortunate may see it as a blessing Use synonyms
while
those struggling may see it as a problem. I believe that the disadvantages of raising the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
outweigh the advantages.
Old Use synonyms
age
comes with its own difficulties. Many changes occur in our bodies mentally and physically that may limit our ability to endure working. Use synonyms
Moreover
, these changes raise the issue of safety in the workplace not only for the employee but Linking Words
also
for other Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
For example
, construction is labour intensive and if they continue working jobs like these it may put a strain on their body and in turn put themselves and other Linking Words
people
in danger.
Use synonyms
In addition
, old Linking Words
people
are entitled to enjoy their life. Most Use synonyms
people
spend their whole life working to get out of poverty. Use synonyms
Retirement
should be the time when they are able to spend time on their hobbies and their families. Use synonyms
However
, some Linking Words
people
do not have Use synonyms
this
luxury as money is scarce and their pension is not enough to support their lives. Linking Words
This
is the reason why some Linking Words
people
would agree on increasing the Use synonyms
age
for Use synonyms
retirement
. Despite Use synonyms
this
, increasing the Linking Words
age
of Use synonyms
retirement
will only lead to more problems, Use synonyms
such
as injuries, which will Linking Words
further
increase the need for money.
In conclusion, Linking Words
Use synonyms
retirement
Add an article
the retirement
age
should not be raised. It is not humane and is a disservice to the community. Use synonyms
Therefore
, I recommend that systems should be placed so that Linking Words
people
can retire at the appropriate Use synonyms
age
without the worries of financial burden.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support claims. For instance, mention sectors or research to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Consider expanding on counterarguments or addressing possible opposing views to enhance the depth of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
Arguments presented are clear and relevant to the task.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...