In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

Retirement

Use synonyms

is viewed differently depending on what your status in life is.

People

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who are fortunate may see it as a blessing

while

Linking Words

those struggling may see it as a problem. I believe that the disadvantages of raising the

retirement

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age

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outweigh the advantages. Old

age

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comes with its own difficulties. Many changes occur in our bodies mentally and physically that may limit our ability to endure working.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these changes raise the issue of safety in the workplace not only for the employee but

also

Linking Words

for other

people

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For example

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, construction is labour intensive and if they continue working jobs like these it may put a strain on their body and in turn put themselves and other

people

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in danger.

In addition

Linking Words

, old

people

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are entitled to enjoy their life. Most

people

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spend their whole life working to get out of poverty.

Retirement

Use synonyms

should be the time when they are able to spend time on their hobbies and their families.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

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do not have

this

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luxury as money is scarce and their pension is not enough to support their lives.

This

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is the reason why some

people

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would agree on increasing the

age

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for

retirement

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. Despite

this

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, increasing the

age

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retirement

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will only lead to more problems,

such

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as injuries, which will

further

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increase the need for money. In conclusion,

Use synonyms

retirement

Add an article

the retirement

show examples

age

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should not be raised. It is not humane and is a disservice to the community.

Therefore

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, I recommend that systems should be placed so that

people

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can retire at the appropriate

age

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without the worries of financial burden.

erickacasandra.abas

Nov 10, 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples or evidence to support claims. For instance, mention sectors or research to strengthen arguments.

task achievement

Consider expanding on counterarguments or addressing possible opposing views to enhance the depth of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.

task achievement

Arguments presented are clear and relevant to the task.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
life expectancy
pension systems
financial pressure
economic growth
workforce
retirement savings
skills and knowledge transfer
job opportunities
health challenges
work-life balance
societal resistance
burnout
productivity
well-being

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In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

nowdays many people have less face-to-face talk. what are reasons and what are solutions

Some people think that it's a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it's important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. JJ

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.