In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?
Retirement
is viewed differently depending on what your status in life is. People
who are fortunate may see it as a blessing while
those struggling may see it as a problem. I believe that the disadvantages of raising the retirement
age
outweigh the advantages.
Old age
comes with its own difficulties. Many changes occur in our bodies mentally and physically that may limit our ability to endure working. Moreover
, these changes raise the issue of safety in the workplace not only for the employee but also
for other people
. For example
, construction is labour intensive and if they continue working jobs like these it may put a strain on their body and in turn put themselves and other people
in danger.
In addition
, old people
are entitled to enjoy their life. Most people
spend their whole life working to get out of poverty. Retirement
should be the time when they are able to spend time on their hobbies and their families. However
, some people
do not have this
luxury as money is scarce and their pension is not enough to support their lives. This
is the reason why some people
would agree on increasing the age
for retirement
. Despite this
, increasing the age
of retirement
will only lead to more problems, such
as injuries, which will further
increase the need for money.
In conclusion, retirement
Add an article
the retirement
age
should not be raised. It is not humane and is a disservice to the community. Therefore
, I recommend that systems should be placed so that people
can retire at the appropriate age
without the worries of financial burden.Submitted by erickacasandra.abas on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support claims. For instance, mention sectors or research to strengthen arguments.
task achievement
Consider expanding on counterarguments or addressing possible opposing views to enhance the depth of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Clear and well-defined introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
Arguments presented are clear and relevant to the task.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!