IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Young people these days tend to be more isolated and less polite and respectful than in the past. What are the causes of this, and what solutions can be suggested?

In today’s world, the characteristics of young people have been shaped by a range of social and technological changes. Many of them now prefer solitude and show less commitment to
values
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as politeness and respect. Two major factors behind
this
Linking Words
 shift are the influence of social media and family upbringing. To mitigate the negative consequences of
this
Linking Words
 trend, comprehensive educational efforts are required. Young people are increasingly reluctant to engage in social environments or form strong personal relationships. One of the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 is the pervasive role of social media. Teenagers and young adults spend the majority of their time on platforms
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, where they follow influencers and often compare themselves to them.
This
Linking Words
 comparison frequently leads to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and social withdrawal.
In addition
Linking Words
, the family environment plays a critical role in shaping
values
Use synonyms
. Some individuals grow up in households where moral principles are neither taught nor
practiced
Use the right word
practised
show examples
, which weakens their understanding of social norms and ethical
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
show examples
. To address
this
Linking Words
 issue, education must start from the roots of society—namely, the family, the school, and the broader community. Governments should support families by offering workshops and training sessions for those intending to raise children. These programs could be led by professionals who present the typical psychological traits of different age groups and provide guidance on how to respond appropriately to emotional and
behavioral
Use the right word
behavioural
show examples
 challenges.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, educators—especially those who interact closely with young people—should be well-trained and equipped to reinforce ethical
values
Use synonyms
 in everyday learning environments. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 many young people today lean toward isolation and show declining respect for traditional
values
Use synonyms
, largely
due to
Linking Words
 the effects of social media and lack of moral guidance within the family.
However
Linking Words
, with the right educational initiatives targeting both parents and teachers, it is possible to reverse
this
Linking Words
 trend and help the younger generation reconnect with important social
values
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

positive
Your introduction clearly states the problem and the factors involved. Good job!
advice
Make sure to provide clearer examples or evidence in your body paragraphs to support your points.
advice
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your points. Consider adding a memorable statement to make it stronger.
advice
Sometimes the flow between ideas could be smoother to help the reader follow your thoughts better.
positive
Your essay has a clear introduction, and the main points are well organized.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: