IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

With the increased of global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources.

#demand #oil #gas #areas #world #access #resources
It’s argued that we should have
access
 to unused land to exploit resources because we are short on supplies.
However
, discovering more areas to make use of it for oil and
gas
 could lead to
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
show examples
 impact on the environment. Some people will take advantage of it for beneficial purposes and not recovered the damage they have done. If we don’t let them
access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
oil and
gas
, it would encourage other industries to change
source
Correct pronoun usage
their source
show examples
 of
energy
. There are
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 that companies, for
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own benefit, constantly destroying thousands and
millions
Add the preposition
ofmillions
show examples
 hectares of land. Since it’s expensive for companies to recovered
those area
Change the determiner
that area
those areas
show examples
, most of them will find a way to avoid the fees.
This
continue
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continues
show examples
 to happen as people keep wipe off
forest
Add an article
the forest
show examples
 and not restore will end up
over consumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
show examples
 of natural
resource
.
For example
,
in
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apply
show examples
Brazil where most parts of the Amazon rainforest are, is rapidly reported
Change preposition
to being
show examples
being legally exploit
Change the verb form
being legally exploited
show examples
. It
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 indiscriminate exploitation of
resource
 and the price of each hectare of the forest to driven down to just 160 dollars in 2020.
Instead
 of using
unrewable
Correct your spelling
renewable
unreliable
energy
such
 as oil and
gas
, we could use other power sources that won’t
dwindled
Change the verb form
dwindle
show examples
 in the future. If we used renewable
energy
, we won’t be short on supplies and concerned about dealing with it. Even when we have more
access
 to more areas, the natural
resource
 will
be dwindled
Change to the active voice
dwindle
have dwindled
show examples
 shortly, so it would
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
 to have an unlimited source of
energy
. Solar
energy
 is an example, the sun generates
into
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apply
show examples
electricity for factories to work. Because the
gas
 and fuel
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
being produce
Change the verb form
producing
show examples
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, the people that live near that area won’t have to suffer from the chemicals
polluted
Correct pronoun usage
that polluted
show examples
 the air. In conclusion, the world is short on
resource
 for industrial purposes and demand on continue to exploit more.
However
, we
shoudn’t
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
wouldn't
 have
access
 to undiscovered areas since it will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 negatively on the
evironment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
On the other hand
, we could use
other source
Change the wording
another source
other sources
show examples
 of
energy
 for the better.
Submitted by linhlinphan on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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