Some people belive that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #belive #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit

Society always provides us comfort and knowledge of our culture and etiquettes. It is our job to give them something in return. So there is a school of thought who thinks that the younger

generation

should do some of society's

work

voluntarily and for free as it will not only help our community but

also

in the development of our youth. I personally completely agree with

this

thought and I will shed my views on

this

topic in

this

essay.

Firstly

, our communities always

runs

Change the verb form

run

show examples

various organisations which helps people in

needs

Fix the agreement mistake

need

show examples

Such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

providing food to homeless people or old age houses or orphanages etc.

Secondly

this

organisations

Fix the agreement mistake

organisation

show examples

runs

Change the verb form

run

show examples

on donations and trust funds which always keeps them

short handed

Add a hyphen

short-handed

show examples

. In

such

case, when teenagers apply for doing

work

here voluntarily and for free it will not only

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them to improve their behaviours but it

also

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

relief to

such

organisations as they don't have to hire

personnels

Correct your spelling

personnel

to do

work

for them.

Furthermore

, when the younger

generation

starts working with

such

communities it helps them to develop character.

For example

, it develops

sense

Add an article

a sense

show examples

of helping others, aware

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

problems in society and it creates

consience

Correct your spelling

conscience

confidence

in themselves.

In addition

in their

teen

Correct your spelling

teenage

show examples

age

Add a comma

,age

show examples

it helps them to keep them busy and away from other distractions. Namely, it keeps them away from drug abuse, violence etc.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

people in their

teen age

Correct your spelling

teenage

show examples

are always competitive in every

aspects

Change to a singular noun

aspect

show examples

so when they start

work

here they can compete with each other and get more and more

work

done. Not only that but they set good examples and

also

create perfect good role models for their

generation

and the

generation

. To sum up, I reiterate that

this communities

Change the determiner

this community

these communities

show examples

should come up with some kind of rewards to motivate children who

does

Change the verb form

show examples

good

work

without any desire to get anything in return. Not but least it will help them to bring

communitiy

Correct your spelling

community

communities

closer and understand it's problems at deeper levels.

Submitted by pakshit910 on Sun Aug 08 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

331 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
There is little doubt that global tourism brings merits to several places, although some proponents contend that its social and environmental impacts are concerning. This essay will delve into both perspectives, whereas I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for some reasons.
5
band
In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing population.
Indeed, these days people, especially in the developed countries, live much longer than before, for instance even 10 years ago. It leads to some challenges for them and for the society.
5
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students nowadays are under a lot of pressure to achieve academical success in order to get into a good university or secure a well paid job. For this reason some people argue that schools need to focus on academic subjects and vocational subjects should therefore not taught at schools. I would argue that while academic skills are important, schools need to teach a wide range of both academic and more skills-based subjects.
4.5
band
some people believe that experiments with animals should be outlawed, while others are convinced that it is the best way to achieve some sientific goals. how do you thing is there is any possible alternitive and should experimentations be outlawed?
There is certain number of people who confirm that experiments made on animals should not be legit, while others believe that in some cases it is the most appropriate and effective ways to scientific breakthroughs. This essay will support the latter poit of view, referring to the logic that if a less rigid and harmful way for the same results existed, it definetely whould be imlemented by scientists.
8
band
The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?
Generally, manufacturing is necessary to meet the demand of consumers. However, In recent years, there has been a fact that the more convenience goods manufacturing develops, the more seriously the ecosystem is injured. This is because the factories emit so much toxic wastewater into the land and pollutants into the atmosphere during the manufacturing process, and these problems can be solved by adopting certain policies.

Some people belive that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing population.

some people believe that experiments with animals should be outlawed, while others are convinced that it is the best way to achieve some sientific goals. how do you thing is there is any possible alternitive and should experimentations be outlawed?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?