More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, an increasing number of
people
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have become seriously overweight, which has raised concerns about public
health
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worldwide.
While
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some
people
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believe that increasing the
price
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of fattening foods could be an effective solution to
this
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problem, others argue that
this
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approach is unfair or ineffective. I partially agree that higher prices on unhealthy foods can help reduce obesity,
although
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it should not be the only measure taken. One key reason supporting
this
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perspective is that
price
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increases can discourage
people
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from consuming unhealthy
food
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regularly.
For example
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, when sugary drinks and fast
food
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become more expensive, consumers may choose healthier and more affordable alternatives
such
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as fruits and home-cooked meals.
This
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illustrates how financial factors can influence eating habits and contribute to better dietary choices.
Furthermore
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,
this
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approach has been effective in some countries where taxes on sugary products have reduced their consumption. Another important consideration is that raising prices alone does not address the root causes of obesity. Evidence for
this
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can be seen in low-income communities, where
people
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may continue to buy
cheap
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cheap,
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unhealthy
food
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due to
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limited access to healthier options.
Moreover
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, a lack of nutritional education means that many individuals are unaware of the long-term
health
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risks associated with poor diets. These points highlight why
price
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increases should be combined with education and better
food
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availability. Some may contend that individuals should take personal responsibility for their eating habits rather than being financially pressured by the government, primarily because
food
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choice is a personal matter.
However
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,
this
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view overlooks the role of governments in protecting public
health
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. When unhealthy
food
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contributes significantly to obesity-related diseases, intervention becomes justified. Clearly, the potential
health
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benefits outweigh the drawbacks of
this
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policy. In conclusion, obesity is a serious global issue with varied solutions.
Although
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increasing the
price
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of fattening foods can help reduce unhealthy consumption, it should be part of a broader strategy that includes education, public awareness, and access to healthy
food
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.
This
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balanced approach is more likely to produce positive results in the long term.

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organization
Make the main ideas flow with clear links. Use simple joining words so the reader can see how one idea leads to the next.
introduction
In the intro, state your view more clearly in one line so the reader knows your stance.
content
Give more strong examples that connect to your main point and explain how they prove it.
style
Keep sentences short and use common words to stay easy to read.
accuracy
Check spelling and punctuation to avoid mistakes.
content
Clear main idea and stance.
content
Balanced view with both sides in the text.
content
Good use of examples like tax on drinks and access to healthy foods.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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