IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount of
people
Use synonyms
 with
health
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 are trying alternative medicines, rather than visiting a professional doctor. Unfortunately, it can create situations when
health
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 more difficult and even may get out of control.
Firstly
Linking Words
, old
people
Use synonyms
 often
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 their
methods
Correct word choice
own methods
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 to treat some illness, thinking that they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wisdom and experience in that more than professional doctors.But
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 it is not
responsible
Add an article
the responsible
a responsible
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 way, and may cause
such
Linking Words
 problems like unpredictable
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
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, allergic symptoms or worsening
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the disease. some attempts at self-medication can even lead to poisoning or death if
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 not
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
attentive.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 48% of
people
Use synonyms
 who died from Covid were self-medicating.
And most
Correct word choice
Most
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
making
Verb problem
are undergoing
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self treatment
Add a hyphen
self-treatment
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 are doing it because they don't want to attend hospital and spend time and money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that, but It's not responsible to treat to
health
Use synonyms
 like that.
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
 help is
professional
Add an article
a professional
show examples
, certified and trusted method. In some
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
doctors
Change noun form
doctors'
doctor's
show examples
 education can
keep
Verb problem
last
show examples
 more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 5 years, and still not
be ended
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
. Because medicines
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 always moving forward
improving
Correct word choice
and improving
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.
Self medications
Correct your spelling
Self-medication
show examples
 can't be better than
professional
Replace the word
professionalism
show examples
. In conclusion,
This
Linking Words
 essay encourages the use of professional help and does not recommend using untested, dangerous methods of self-healing.
Health
Use synonyms
 it's not something
what
Change the word
that
show examples
 should be treated unattendedly.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas with appropriate linking words and phrases to improve the flow and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
Work on providing more relevant examples and elaborating your arguments to strengthen your main points.
task achievement
You effectively highlighted the potential dangers of alternative medicines and the benefits of professional medical care.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
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