IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #animals
Many
people
 define themselves as concerned about the prominent issue of safeguarding all wild
animals
,
whereas
 some
people
instead
 believe that only a few of them should be protected. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my opinion.
Wildlife
 should always be preserved, without any distinction. In fact, because of poaching and hunting, all
animals
 can be in peril. Human activity is expanding dangerously, threatening the natural habitat of many wild species, and only
Correct article usage
a fewer
show examples
fewer
Replace the word
few
show examples
people
 genuinely care about the risk that incomes for those creatures. Sadly, none of them is safe when the man is around.
For example
, we continuously hear the terrible news about
people
 arbitrarily destroying green areas or parks, causing suffering to the
animals
 that live there. For these reasons, every wild species is potentially in need of prompt protection.
On the other hand
, it seems evident that some specific groups of wild
animals
 are facing extinction.
For example
, the sea lions in the Nordic islands have become so rare that only a few families exist. These populations are reaching a non-turning back point of depletion, which requires active participation from human activists. Many breeding programs led by experts in the field are currently in action to save some specific portions of the
wildlife
, as they need particular attention and care to survive. In conclusion, some
people
 argued that all
wildlife
 should be
tutelated
Correct your spelling
mutilated
,
while
 others opined that
this
 is unnecessary, as some species are more susceptible to unnatural depletion than others. In my opinion, provided that some groups of
animals
 desperately need our empathic intervention to survive, we ought to protect all kinds of
wildlife
 before these become endangered.
Submitted by ylyneko1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and avoid overly generalized statements. Use more complex and varied sentence structures to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more developed examples and explanations to support your arguments. Make sure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: