Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#advertisements #life #development

Nowadays, advertising is a vital part of modern business which allows entrepreneurs to thrive in the business sphere and to inform customers about their products. Having said that , there are some negative effects of them, as they may distract

people

from staying concentrated as well as lead

Change preposition

to more

show examples

consumerism.

advertisements

. Once flashy

advertisements

appear,

people

may have to their

concentration

Replace the word

concentrate

show examples

As a result

, the attention spans of many

people

may reduce.

For instance

, it is much harder to teach students than ever before, since they cannot stay focused on certain tasks

Change preposition

for

show examples

longer

Add an article

a longer

show examples

amount of time. Advertising can manipulate adults and particularly children and its purpose is to persuade them purchasing

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

may assist to be more grateful. Usually, after watching those children-oriented

advertisements

, they might start pestering their parents to buy the products for them.

Consequently

this

can create consumerism from an early age.

Moreover

, businessmen normally hire glamorous, successful

people

in order to promote their company.

Therefore

people

are encouraged to buy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

products that might not need

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

at all.

This

may lead

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to more

show examples

consumerism in some cases. To sum up, existing more advertisement in our daily life has many negative effects.

Hence

people

should try to decrease the amount of

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

on TV as well as on social media.

Additionally

advertisements

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for

show examples

children should be controlled or even banned.

Submitted by faradienaf on Sat Aug 14 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Students should be allowed to choose academic courses or practical courses, e.g carpenters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Some teachers think that international student exchange programs would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.