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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some cultures, children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

#cultures #children #approach
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It is broadly known that different nationalities have a distinct perspective on nurturing their offspring and in some cases, it might be an approach of competition.
This
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 essay will provide some benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 type of growing up children.
First
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 of all, it is interesting to note that learners, who experience competition in studying, usually try to do their best to achieve a better result. At
this
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 point, a person, who makes attempts to get a win, always keeps fit trying to sharpen his background.
For example
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, my friend kept performing math tasks every single day over the year in order to win a math challenge and that happened. Another great point from
this
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 approach is the development of critical thinking. Searching for a solution children usually activate their capacity of outrageous approaches that helps to train a brain, especially if it happens regularly.
For instance
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, my friend, after winning a math challenge, noticed that he could solve other tasks in
life
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 more effectively than before. No doubt that if the habit of competing was set as the main rule of your
life
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 it can bring some problems in the future. Usually, children, who are used to staying in challenging conditions, can not have a good relationship with their spouses in adult
life
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 because they always try to provoke their partners.
For instance
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, my sister challenges her husband in topics where she is good at but he is not and
as a result
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, they have conflicts most of the time. Another thing that can cause serious problems in adult
life
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 is that
such
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 kinds of people try to apply
this
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 type of behaviour even when they drive a car that can result in an accident on a road. As an example, I saw a lot of news reports where people tried to overtake each other and they had a fatal crash of their cars.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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