Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities

It is widely believed that rural

areas

are ideal places to dwell, while other

people

argue that living in urbanized

set ups

Correct your spelling

setups

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

easier to receive health benefits. In

this

essay, I will demonstrate both points of view and give my own opinion. On the one hand, there are some main points supporting the former view.

First

and foremost, the countryside is considered as a natural environment that

people

are able to breathe in

fresh

Add an article

the fresh

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air and consume more

Change preposition

apply

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organic food, while in cities, noise and air pollution could bring both physical and mental health problems to individuals.

Moreover

, employees in modern cities ought to make constant efforts to get competitive with each other.

However

, for

people

living in rural

areas

, competing is unnecessary,

thus

the rate of catching psychological problems

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show examples

stress or pressure is decreased.

On the other hand

, living in urban

areas

makes

people

satisfy modern amenities. Citizens might easily access advanced medical services, which help them to recover from serious illness

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and other facilities

such

as fitness

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

or shopping malls with high-quality commodities.

Thus

, they would have ideal conditions to focus more on their healthy lifestyle.

Furthermore

, urban dwellers are accessible with the leading educational system,

therefore

, they have many opportunities to get versatile knowledge in order to build up a scientific regimen on their own. To conclude, each region might offer both conveniences and drawbacks for its residents.

However

, I believe that modern advancements and facilities of urban

areas

make them much more lucrative to have a healthy lifestyle compared to countryside living.

Submitted by thanhannguyen2209 on Fri Aug 20 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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