IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #countries #society #immigrants #customs #codes #behavior
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In recent years, a large pool of
people
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 transferring to another
country
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 more than they were in the past. Some
people
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 argue that expatriates should abandon their
culture
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 and adapt to new ones. From my perspective, I am partly agreed with the argument, but I am
also
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 convicted that cultural diversity plays a vital role in many nations. On the one hand, it is undeniable that migrating to other countries will be more at ease if immigrants understand their
host
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country
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culture
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.
This
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 can be proved in daily situations, in which many
people
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 might struggle with difficulties in communication when the
host
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 language is too difficult to comprehend.
For example
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, living in Japan without understanding the language could hinder daily convenience
such
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 as shopping or reading road signs, because most of the texts were documented in Japanese.
Furthermore
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, gaining deep knowledge about a nation
also
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 plays a pivotal role in avoiding insults between
people
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. Body language can be easily misunderstood if not used properly. To illustrate, in Vietnam, informal hand gestures in conversations could be served as impolite and humiliating in other cultures
such
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 as Russian.
Hence
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, deepening the understanding of
culture
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 will enhance the appropriateness of certain interactions.
On the other hand
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, it would be prejudiced to completely eradicate the custom of any fugitive because cultural diversity may enrich the
host
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country
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 to many extents.
Firstly
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, it would deepen human relationships.
This
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 is owing to the fact that understanding more exotic cultures would, in turn, promote empathy and hospitality across cultural backgrounds.
For example
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, many American-Asian students are multi-ethnical,
hence
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, respecting their
culture
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 by learning how to use chopsticks would show courtesy towards these groups of
people
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.
Secondly
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, diverse backgrounds would contribute to the richness of recreational resources. To clarify, the colossal amount of literary works or arts by asylum seekers in the US that attribute to the richness of documents in
this
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country
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. To summarize, whether adopt another form of
culture
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 when migrating is crucial, it should be different from annihilating completely one's own
culture
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,
instead
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, encouraging cultural divergence could promote the
host
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country
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 to many prospects.
Submitted by yentho.nguyengiang on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • integration
  • social cohesion
  • cultural clashes
  • original culture
  • diversity
  • identity loss
  • psychological distress
  • balanced approach
  • local customs
  • cultural identities
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