Nowadays, there are more workers working from home and more students studying from home, due to the fact that computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

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As technology advances, more and more people have incorporated it into their daily lives. Lots of companies and schools are introducing the concept of their employees and students to work and study from home. It has some advantages but the drawbacks outweigh them. First of all, online schools could still give students the materials and grades they needed.
Nonetheless
, studies and knowledge can only get you so far in life. What they actually need is a place and community where they can build and shape their character. Studying remotely
however
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however,
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doesn’t provide the opportunities to do so. There are a huge number of skills students will miss out on other than studying
such
as social capabilities, leadership and teamwork. When isolated from other people, they wouldn’t develop a better understanding of people and build rapport with others. As for those in a company, working from home raises several problems. Supervisors would get less opportunity to actually observe what their subordinates are doing. There’s no guarantee that all workers have the same level of discipline in them. Even if they are all earnest, seniors wouldn’t be able to monitor and help those who are having trouble. Teamwork will be much harder to maintain because with everyone being online, emotions could be filtered and even misinterpreted. They would have difficulties in relating and appreciating each other’s ideas. Misunderstandings would spark furiously and respect would be lost.
This
could lead to the company’s demise. To sum everything up, remote work and homeschooling should be avoided if possible. Its benefits are not worth the risks and could even backfire.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by including more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mention specific situations or studies that highlight the drawbacks of remote work and studying.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more connecting words or phrases to guide the reader through the transitions between ideas. This will help in maintaining the flow and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a well-defined frame for your argument.
task achievement
You clearly explained the disadvantages of remote work and studying, providing a strong task response.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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