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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example,through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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Nowadays,
technology
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 is developed quickly. The more time passes, the more the
technology
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 is improved in an exponential way. Undeniably,
technology
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 is around us as one of the important objects for living in daily life.
For example
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, we communicate with one another by phone
instead
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 of letters. We use many kinds of vehicles that fasten transportation. All
technology
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 is made for helping the human more convenient, even safer. The
technology
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 is used in cases of increasing
security
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. Somehow, the human has a limit to work,
technology
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 is used
instead
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.
For example
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, the
security
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 camera expands the view that gives convenience to the
security
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 guards.
Moreover
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, beyond expanding the view of the
security
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 camera is a cellphone tracking that monitors what
people
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 say. Even though
this
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technology
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 is helpful for
security
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,
people
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 are concerned if these technologies affect them worse.
This
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technology
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 monitoring
people
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 are exactly convenient for the
security
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 organization in cases of crimes and rob, police officers are able to arrest the terrorists easier with the cooperation of monitoring
technology
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.
People
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 are safer with purify-government work.
In addition
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 to the commercial way, these logalitin helps the customers look for what they want. The economy is better because of monitoring
technology
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.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 think monitoring
technology
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 is dangerous if it is used by bad
people
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. The government is not the only organization that makes
such
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 modern
technology
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, the terrorists
also
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 have advances in hacking the monitoring
technology
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 as well. Despite the direction of improving monitoring
technology
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 is increasing
security
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 and extending economy, the monitoring
technology
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 is convenient to the terrorist to make crimes. In conclusion, the advantages of monitoring
technology
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 help humans extremely, even though the monitoring
technology
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 causes bad things. The controlling of government or mandatory companies is the most important to decrease crime.
Moreover
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,
people
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 feel more reliable with monitoring
technology
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. The heavy reason for using
this
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technology
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 covers the thinking of
people
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.
Although
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 they think
this
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 invades their privacy, the bigger advantage
that is
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 concerned with
security
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 makes them understand much.
Submitted by sahapol.rs on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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