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Writing Samples
Band 6

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, social
media
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 is a well-known tool for communication but the
use
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 of
this
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 technology is substituting face-to-face interaction in society. So, I believe that there are many benefits to using the social
media
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 platform with only a few drawbacks.
Firstly
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, the
use
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 of social
media
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such
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 as Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Chat
platforms
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 helps
people
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 to contact their persons, families, or friends easily, conveniently, and immediately.
For example
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, when you have to stay in other countries, these social
media
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platforms
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 help you keep in touch with your parent and siblings.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 can share a personal life and moments with their friends and family on social
media
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 via photos, stories, or videos. Another advantage is social
media
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 assists
people
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 to find their new friends.
In particular
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, men or women who are too shy to talk can pick the social
media
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platforms
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 to be the options to start the conversation.
However
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, there are a few disadvantages like social
media
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 addiction.
For instance
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, some teenagers spend too much time playing on social
media
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 and separate
out
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apply
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from society to avoid talking to
people
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 in person. The result is these groups of children do not know how to communicate and act their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 when they have to face many
people
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 in society. Another downside point is there are many crimes, cyber-attacks, and fake accounts across the
platforms
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. So.
people
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 have to be careful using these kinds of communications. Especially, children sometimes need a piece of advice and proper time from their parents. In conclusion, I think the
use
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 of social
media
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 still has numerous advantages but there is
also
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 a need for an appropriate purpose or restricted time
use
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 to protect real-life interaction, which is displaced by the virtual world.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph clearly develops a single idea and maintains focus throughout. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
task response
In your introduction, consider providing a brief outline of the main points you will discuss. This can guide the reader through your argument.
task response
When giving examples, make sure they are as specific as possible. This will enhance your response and demonstrate deeper understanding.
task response
Your introduction clearly states your views on the topic, which is important for task achievement.
task response
You present clear advantages and disadvantages of social media, reflecting a balanced view, which is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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