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Writing Samples
Band 6

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is no doubt that social
media
Use synonyms
 platforms play a crucial role in the growth of celebrities and often portray them in an unfair manner. While some believe that a person’s fame comes at the cost of intrusion into their personal
life
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, I am of the opinion that they should
also
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 be allowed to have their own private space. On the one hand, those who believe that invading one’s personal
life
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 is acceptable, argue that their choice of the profession demands
for
Change preposition
apply
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such
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 activities.
For
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instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 a movie actor is required to showcase his lifestyle and glamorous activities on social
media
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 in order to gain the public’s attention.
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This
Correct determiner usage
The
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 reason for
this
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 is the success of
such
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 people is not only being measured on their hard work but
also
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 depends on the public’s reaction.
Conversely
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, if a celebrity’s
life
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 is not made known to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, they would not receive
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 recognition and appreciation and could lose potential future opportunities in their field.
However
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, I believe that privacy is really important when it comes to
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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 matters of any individual.
This
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 is because
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media
Correct article usage
the media
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 not only tries to capture the
life
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 of a successful person but
also
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 include their families in
this
Linking Words
 process.
For example
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, if there is any unforeseen event in celebrities’ personal
life
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, the whole family is being questioned regularly by the
media
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 and society. The continuous discouragement and lack of support from the people might affect their mental health resulting in issues
such
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 as depression and anxiety attacks.
In
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contrast
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,contrast
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 if their personal space is not disturbed, it will help them combat their issues in a sophisticated manner and
thus
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 helping them to lead a normal
life
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 like any other human being. In conclusion,
although
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 appraisal and recognition are the factors of stardom which is often received by making one’s aliveness public, I believe that renowned people can lead a happy and self-sustained soul if they are not being personally targeted

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