It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world

It is true that it is more necessary for pupils to study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

national

history

, rather than the

history

of the

world

While

I agree that schoolchildren should learn about local

history

, I would argue that schools should teach them

world

history

. There are a number of reasons why

school children

Correct your spelling

schoolchildren

show examples

should learn about local

history

Firstly

, knowing about national

history

fosters a sense of belonging and pride in each child.

Thus

, by studying how early generations fought and made sacrifices for the freedom of the country, these youngsters will appreciate the value of life and the freedom they enjoy today.

Secondly

, young people

also

learn about the origins and core values of their motherland through

history

lessons.

As a result

, they will gain a deeper understanding of each traditional event, and be motivated to carry on the best customs for generations to come.

However

, schoolchildren should be encouraged to have some knowledge about

world

history

. The globalisation trend makes it necessary for pupils to have a deeper understanding of the

history

of the

world

. Through these lessons about the past of the

world

, youngsters will form a mutual understanding of different ethnic groups and cultures

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the

world

. Another important factor is that a study of

world

history

provides youngsters with an overview of the interrelationship of nations and how historical events,

such

as colonisation, have shaped our contemporary

world

. In conclusion, I believe that it is equally important for children to know about their local

history

and

world

history

Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on Wed Sep 01 2021

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Ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt and the question being asked. Use clear topic sentences and support each main point with relevant examples and explanations.

coherence and cohesion

Organize ideas logically, use cohesive devices to link ideas, and present a clear overall progression throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions for how people should prepare for work in the future.

Some people think that visiting museums and art galleries is the best way to learn about art, While others believe that there are betteer ways of doing that. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?