It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world

It is true that it is more necessary for pupils to study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

national

history

, rather than the

history

of the

world

While

I agree that schoolchildren should learn about local

history

, I would argue that schools should teach them

world

history

. There are a number of reasons why

school children

Correct your spelling

schoolchildren

show examples

should learn about local

history

Firstly

, knowing about national

history

fosters a sense of belonging and pride in each child.

Thus

, by studying how early generations fought and made sacrifices for the freedom of the country, these youngsters will appreciate the value of life and the freedom they enjoy today.

Secondly

, young people

also

learn about the origins and core values of their motherland through

history

lessons.

As a result

, they will gain a deeper understanding of each traditional event, and be motivated to carry on the best customs for generations to come.

However

, schoolchildren should be encouraged to have some knowledge about

world

history

. The globalisation trend makes it necessary for pupils to have a deeper understanding of the

history

of the

world

. Through these lessons about the past of the

world

, youngsters will form a mutual understanding of different ethnic groups and cultures

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the

world

. Another important factor is that a study of

world

history

provides youngsters with an overview of the interrelationship of nations and how historical events,

such

as colonisation, have shaped our contemporary

world

. In conclusion, I believe that it is equally important for children to know about their local

history

and

world

history

Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on Wed Sep 01 2021

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Organize ideas logically, use cohesive devices to link ideas, and present a clear overall progression throughout the essay.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.