Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #level #violence #films #television #cinema

Some people suggest that the level of violence seen in

films

should be regulated by the government

while

others assert that

this

rule should not be provided.

This

essay will explain both opinions and why I support the former's view.

To begin

with one hand, some people believe that violent

films

should not be banned. The movie is one of the useful ways of education.

For example

, the

movies

related to the war. In Japan, many elementary schools use these

movies

to teach

students

the danger of war and the importance of peace. In summer,

students

are usually gathered in a big classroom and watching these

movies

with their teachers.

Although

these contents have violent descriptions, the benefits of education can outweigh

this

problem.

As a result

, violent

films

play an important role in teaching.

On the other hand

however

, I believe that the government should regulate violent

films

according to

age.

This

is because these

films

can cause severe mental issues in children. Research recently conducted by the Ministry of Education in Japan discovered that 70% of

students

who watched the movie related to bullying felt more aggressive after watching it.

This

kind of movie may make children acquire aggressive personalities.

In contrast

, some

students

feel anxiety when they see violent scenes in

movies

. If

this

emotion continues, they will have more severe mental illness in the near future.

Consequently

, since these

movies

have a clearly harmful effect on children, the government should prohibit them by the rule. In conclusion,

although

there are benefits to violent

films

, I believe they should be banned because of the bad impact on mental well-being.

Submitted by nao.bb0820 on Wed Aug 14 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, you could improve the logical flow between arguments. For instance, using transition words or phrases between paragraphs could enhance coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph stays focused on a single main idea. The paragraph about the educational benefits of violent films could be made clearer by explicitly stating the contrast with the following paragraph's main idea.

Task Achievement

Your task response is comprehensive and addresses both sides of the argument. However, be sure to elaborate on your opinion in the conclusion, reiterating why you support government regulation.

Task Achievement

While your arguments are clear and supported with relevant examples, providing more data or studies can make your points even stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion that restates your opinion.

Task Achievement

You've skillfully used relevant examples, such as the use of war films in Japanese schools, to support your points.

Task Achievement

Your language is clear and you’ve successfully communicated complex ideas in a straightforward manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

regulation
vulnerable groups
age restrictions
censorship
real-life aggression
healthier society
creative freedom
free speech
artistic vision
cultural narratives
personal responsibility
viewing choices
balanced approach
rating systems
parental guidance

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Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that modern technology is giving people more free time, while others think it is making them busier. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Billions of dollars are spent on Space research every year. Instead, this money could be used to improve living conditions of people on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.