IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that all law breakers should be put into prison while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #law #breakers #prison #alternatives
Recently, there has been an argument about whether all types of
criminals
 should be sent to
prison
 or not. Some people think it is the best solution whereas others believe that there are many ways to solve
this
 problem. In my opinion, I definitely agree with the latter one. On the one hand, there is an array of reasons why all
criminals
 have to serve
prison
 sentences when they break the law.
First
 of all, imprisoning all types of offenders can help reduce the crime rate in society.
This
 strict punishment can act as a deterrent because it might eliminate individuals’
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
 of offending, which, eventually, can contribute to the decrease in the number of people committing crimes.
Second
 of all, the security of society would be improved if offenders had to receive
prison
 sentences.
For instance
, some types of minor culprits
such
 as robbers, thieves are the leading causes for the sense of insecurity among residents;
Therefore
, the aforementioned law allows citizens to have a safe life.
On the other hand
, there are still alternative solutions to tackle these offenders
instead
 of having to put them
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 jail. In the
first
 place, those who violate minor faults should be greatly fined and be under probation orders.
Consequently
,
this
 would reduce the likelihood of reoffending and help them reintegrate into society to make a fresh start. In the
second
 place, for serious
criminals
such
 as kidnapping, drug trafficking or even murder, a policy of zero tolerance should be implemented.
For instance
,
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
prison
 sentence or more seriously, the death penalty will deter them from returning
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
path of crime and make culprits regret
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they have done to their innocent victims. In conclusion,
although
 imprisonment is an effective method to deal with issues of crime, I still believe appropriate alternatives for various kinds of
criminals
 can play an active role in guaranteeing the security of our community.
Submitted by lekhanhhoa1208 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: