Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

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Nowdays

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Nowadays

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apply

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a larger number of people argue that a volunteer service should be promoted to

students

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in secondary

school

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. While I agree free-charged

work

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should be seen as

irrevalent

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irreverent

prevalent

for many high

school

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students

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, I believe that

students

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need to take volunteer hours during

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school

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the school

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period

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periods

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To begin

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with, it is widely

acknowleged

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acknowledged

that

students

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espically

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especially

those in senior-high schools, should pay more attention to their

study

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studies

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For example

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students

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who can gain

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outstanding academic performance

are usually spend

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are usually spent

are usually spending

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enmerous

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enormous

numerous

time

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apply

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learing

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learning

, which means they don't have sufficient time for unpaid community

sevice

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service

, including

students

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tutor or house care.

Conversely

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, if they attend

this

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kind of job, they might

loss

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lose

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valuable time and even can not concentrate for their intensive senior

school

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years.

Subsequently

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, some of them may

can't

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apply

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pass the test.

Moreover

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, some

students

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might have their own jobs and

paid

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pay

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by their employers already. In another word, they are not willing to take the

work

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without perks.

Notwithstading

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Notwithstanding

students

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should take the

responsibily

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responsibility

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apply

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citizens

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citizen

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in society. It is of utmost importance for them to take the

first

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step into

soceity

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society

vlounteering

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volunteering

in local communities.

Futhermore

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Furthermore

,it is

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oppounrity

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opportunity

for

school

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-aged people to enjoy rich experiences from

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apply

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such

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services. Another point is that

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apply

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some secondary schools and

univeristies

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universities

require

students

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to finish

couples

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couple

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of hours

voluntary

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of voluntary

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work

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in high

school

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before graduation or becoming a freshman.

Thus

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, unpaid voluntary

work

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has

became

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become

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apply

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necessary

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necessity

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for

students

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. In conclusion, I agree that community

work

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is not the most important for high

school

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students

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, yet

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still support the proposal towards it should be introduced as a compulsory sector to high

school

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students

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in a considerable way, the

contribuotry

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contributory

contributors

factor is that it could raise the

awerness

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awareness

students

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socail

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social

responsibility.

Submitted by vincentchenyj on Mon Sep 06 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
unpaid community service
charity
neighborhood improvement
teaching sports
empathy
social justice
transferable skills
teamwork
leadership
problem-solving
civic duty
civic engagement
educational enhancement
practical experiences
academic learning
real-world applications
social cohesion
mutual support
time management
balancing priorities

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that in all levels of education from primary school to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not in learning practical skills, upto what extent do you agree or disagree?

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some people believe that social media sites, such as facebook or twitter, have a negative impcat on young people and their ability to form personal relatioship. others believe that these sites bring people together in beneficial way