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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
Nowdays
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Nowadays
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,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a larger number of people argue that a volunteer service should be promoted to
students
 in secondary
school
. While I agree free-charged
work
 should be seen as
irrevalent
Correct your spelling
irreverent
prevalent
 for many high
school
students
, I believe that
students
 need to take volunteer hours during
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
.
To begin
 with, it is widely
acknowleged
Correct your spelling
acknowledged
 that
students
,
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
 those in senior-high schools, should pay more attention to their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
For example
,
students
 who can gain
a
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an
show examples
 outstanding academic performance
are usually spend
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are usually spent
are usually spending
show examples
 an
enmerous
Correct your spelling
enormous
numerous
 time
on
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apply
show examples
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
, which means they don't have sufficient time for unpaid community
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
, including
students
 tutor or house care.
Conversely
, if they attend
this
 kind of job, they might
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 valuable time and even can not concentrate for their intensive senior
school
 years.
Subsequently
, some of them may
can't
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apply
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pass the test.
Moreover
, some
students
 might have their own jobs and
paid
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pay
show examples
 by their employers already. In another word, they are not willing to take the
work
 without perks.
Notwithstading
Correct your spelling
Notwithstanding
,
students
 should take the
responsibily
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens
Correct the article-noun agreement
citizen
show examples
 in society. It is of utmost importance for them to take the
first
 step into
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
 by
vlounteering
Correct your spelling
volunteering
 in local communities.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
oppounrity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 for
school
-aged people to enjoy rich experiences from
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
such
 services. Another point is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some secondary schools and
univeristies
Correct your spelling
universities
 require
students
 to finish
couples
Fix the agreement mistake
couple
show examples
 of hours
voluntary
Change preposition
of voluntary
show examples
work
 in high
school
 before graduation or becoming a freshman.
Thus
, unpaid voluntary
work
 has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
necessary
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necessity
show examples
 for
students
. In conclusion, I agree that community
work
 is not the most important for high
school
students
, yet
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 still support the proposal towards it should be introduced as a compulsory sector to high
school
students
 in a considerable way, the
contribuotry
Correct your spelling
contributory
contributors
 factor is that it could raise the
awerness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 of
students
socail
Correct your spelling
social
 responsibility.
Submitted by vincentchenyj on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • neighborhood improvement
  • teaching sports
  • empathy
  • social justice
  • transferable skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • civic duty
  • civic engagement
  • educational enhancement
  • practical experiences
  • academic learning
  • real-world applications
  • social cohesion
  • mutual support
  • time management
  • balancing priorities
What to do next:
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