IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

crime and punishment, how to stop criminals re-offending. Give your views and opinion.

#crime #punishment #criminals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most of the
criminals
Use synonyms
 do
crimes
Use synonyms
 due to insufficient money, unemployment and lack of rehabilitation.
Crimes
Use synonyms
 are increasing day-by-day
such
Linking Words
 as property cases, child abuse, and violent crime, if we do not take some legal actions,
this
Linking Words
 will lead to major problems and will impact society. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will explain why the
criminals
Use synonyms
 commit the same crime again and the reasons to overcome
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most offenders tend to commit more
crimes
Use synonyms
 , once they are released from
prison
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation in prisons and
also
Linking Words
 the difficulty they face in finding employment. There are a lot of solutions to overcome
this
Linking Words
 situation. The main reason for the repetition of
crimes
Use synonyms
 is being surrounded by the
criminals
Use synonyms
 and familiar with them.
Instead
Linking Words
 of punishing
crimes
Use synonyms
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should allow
such
Linking Words
criminals
Use synonyms
 to learn some new
skills
Use synonyms
 so, they can adopt
such
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
 after relieving them from jail.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
criminals
Use synonyms
 face many problems once they are relieved from
prison
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as unemployment, the
government
Use synonyms
 should provide basic employment
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as labour work, teaching, and engaging them with various kinds of works during their punishment tenure, so they can acquire these
skills
Use synonyms
 in order to become self-independent and reduce the impoverishment.
Also
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should have a close observation of these people once they relieve from
prison
Use synonyms
. To sum up, the
government
Use synonyms
 must closely monitor the
criminals
Use synonyms
 even after they are out of
prison
Use synonyms
 and ensure that there is a reduction in crime rates so that we can make the world a better place to live in.
Submitted by shraddhakasturi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: