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Writing Samples
Band 8

Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have people, what are the demerits and what are the job opportunities?

#effects #people #demerits #job #opportunities
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Nowadays, people increasingly prefer to shop online and have their orders delivered to their doorsteps.
This
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 is obviously an easier means for people as it eases a lot of stress, but has a few disadvantages. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the demerits associated with the uprise in shopping online
as well as
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 the available jobs in virtual business. To start with, discussing the drawbacks associated with
this
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 trend of buying groceries and other necessities, it is crucial to mention the increased chance of not receiving exactly what is ordered.
That is
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, in most cases one may receive a product which is inferior to what is displayed on the site.
Additionally
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, there are severally cases of buying clothes or footwear that do not fit. An example is when a buyer orders a pair of sneakers from Amazon, often the sizes are not the same for every shoe brand,
while
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 some provide accurate size guides, many other brands do not.
Consequently
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, in a quest to return a product that does not fit, one may encounter hassles and delays. Contrarily, there are notable job opportunities available in virtual businesses, which include customer and sales representatives (call centre), dispatch riders, new product testers (food, electronics) etc. Evidently, dispatch riders have
such
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 an opportunity
due to
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 the tremendous increase in orders made by individuals with gadgets.
For instance
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, Deliveroo, UberEATS, Glovo and other delivery companies have emerged over the years since everyone now prefers to purchase groceries, MacDonalds, KFC, Domino etc. from the comfort of their homes and expect swift deliveries, not minding the extra pay.
Thus
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, leading to increased needs and recruitments of dispatch riders. In conclusion, e-shopping is inevitably on the rise with the advancement in technology, though there are negative impacts of
this
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 on people, it
also
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 comes with job availabilities for youngsters.
Submitted by find.love.ua on

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task achievement
Further elaborate on the disadvantages to provide a more comprehensive response under the task achievement criterion. This could include discussing issues like lack of physical inspection, the potential for scams, and the lack of social interaction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are logically connected within and between paragraphs. More use of linking words and phrases will improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are used effectively to substantiate the points made, such as mentioning specific companies like Amazon, Deliveroo, UberEATS, etc.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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