IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience ;others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #waste #time #money
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Major
Correct article usage
A major
show examples
 of
people
 suggest that the trip is an essential experience for
their self
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
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. While others believe that it is losses of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time and
money
.
This
 essay will discuss both arguments. Foremost,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 is a good experience for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
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 on the way of
development
Replace the word
developing
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 their knowledge and worldview. If
people
 visit other foreign countries constantly, they might start
learn
Change the form of the verb
learning
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 other nation’s
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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,
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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,
history
Fix the agreement mistake
histories
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, traditions and values. They can find out a lot of foreign friends, improve communication skills and it can
be makes
Change the verb form
make
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 their life more fascinating and ecstatic.
For instance
, Traveling can help you build a positive outlook and draw joyful prospects in your mind.
However
, it can be denied that the trip is
wastage
Correct article usage
a wastage
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 of
people
’s time and
money
.
People
 buy vouchers for big
money
 to visit
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
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,
instead
 of saving up
money
 for real estate. In some situations, some
people
 take debt from
state
Add an article
the state
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 in order to travel and after joying in foreign countries they begin to pay their credit.
In addition
, they lose their time for improving
carriers
Correct your spelling
careers
show examples
 and life.
For instance
, Tourists do not orient themselves well to a foreign country and may become fraud victims. Thieves and pickpockets may steal
money
 and valuable things. To sum up, in my perspective travelling always broadens one's horizons and enriches them with pleasant experiences, which directly affect emotional health and a sense of life satisfaction.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broadens horizons
  • cultural exposure
  • tolerance
  • self-reliance
  • overcoming challenges
  • language proficiency
  • sustainable tourism
  • environmental footprint
  • cultural homogenization
  • commercialization
  • responsible travel
  • global understanding
  • eco-friendly practices
  • accessible alternatives
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