Many people believe that Zoos have no purpose in today

7.5 / 9

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Introduction

At present,

zoos

Use synonyms

have become outdated due to many reasons. Many folks argue that

zoos

Use synonyms

should be closed

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since there are alternative options available for animal lovers.

Body paragraph 1

If we discuss the negative impacts of a zoo in an urban area, the majority of the community believe taking away

animals

Use synonyms

from their natural habitat is a cruel thing. And it may

also

Linking Words

cause to endanger of extinct of those valuable creatures. Because they may not be able to breed when they are in an artificial environment. And

also

Linking Words

people do not agree with keeping

animals

Use synonyms

in limited spaces in order to attract viewers and make money.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, we have heard lots of news in regards to

animals

Use synonyms

get injured or slaughtered by human errors.

Such

Linking Words

as wrongfully handling or escaping to the public. And it is an absurd movement by zookeepers.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many animal wellbeing societies protest from time to time forcing the government to shut

zoos

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 2

Nowadays, people are looking for reasons to escape to the countryside to escape the busy urban lifestyle. So as an alternative option for the zoo, the government can encourage folk to visit wildlife. It is low maintenance yet save the natural habitat. In some wildlife parks, they have created cages or outdoor tunnels where people can walk through them to see

animals

Use synonyms

. And

also

Linking Words

there are T.V. channels

such

Linking Words

as National Geography, that telecasts 24hours of animal behaviours.

Conclusion

To conclude, closing down

zoos

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will be a great advantage for animal wellbeing.

Zoos

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are not the only way to see

animals

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, as there are other options available.

Such

Linking Words

as wildlife parks and live TV channels are available for animal lovers to see

animals

Use synonyms

mahen527

Sep 8, 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

conservation
habitat
endangered species
captive breeding
wildlife sanctuary
animal welfare
educational outreach
natural environment
ethical dilemma
ecotourism
species preservation
behavioral enrichment

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Many people believe that Zoos have no purpose in today

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past it was only possible to contact people at home by letter or telephone. Nowadays, mobile devices mean that we can communicate with people anywhere and at any time. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?