IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays online shopping is extremely popular. Discuss the impact of it on the environment and on people, who lost their jobs because of it.

#impact #environment #people #jobs
E-commerce has become one of the largest sources for people to trade goods. Getting your desired item delivered to you at your doorsteps, doesn’t it sound amazing?
However
,
this
 increasing popularity does come with its demerits too.
This
 essay will focus on its advantages and disadvantages and the impact it has had on the environment and on jobs. Online shopping helps one to buy the exact stuff they want with a tap of a finger.
Moreover
, people
also
 get large discounts and can get things sold in different parts of the world delivered to them.
However
, as these items are transported from distant places they needed to be sent cautiously. The e-commerce
companies
,
therefore
, use various kinds of protective layers made of paper and plastic,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
 bubble wraps, cardboard boxes etc. The plastic pollutes the environment as it doesn’t decompose for years and the carboard is obtained by cutting trees which causes deforestation.
As a result
, it degrades the environmental condition of the planet. These online marketing
companies
 have
also
 taken
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of jobs. These
companies
 depend on deep discounting and give more discounts than the local retailer. As a consequence, retail shops and malls lose a lot of customers and
therefore
 are forced to cut down their workforce. They do
also
 generate jobs but these are a lot less than those lost.
Therefore
, they
also
 increase unemployment among the people. I believe that these
companies
 won’t survive in the long run if they continue to function like
this
. The method of deep discounting is not a sustainable practice and sooner or later different governments across the globe will apply strict laws for environment conservation.
This
 can be seen as many new e-commerce
companies
 lose customers as soon as they stop deep discounting. In conclusion,
although
 they have their own advantages, some methods need to be changed to survive for a long period of time.
Submitted by Rkn9661 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: