IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The development of air travel has brought benefits to many nations through close contact with other people on different levels, from tourism to business. Some people, however, claim that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

#development #air #travel #nations #contact #people #levels #tourism #business
Aviation has developed and many tourists and business persons travel to other countries.
However
, the plane trip has both advantages and disadvantages. In
this
 essay, I will describe both sides and my opinion. Since air travel has developed at a tremendous speed, the government can not prepare restrictions for travellers which had some negative impacts on many societies. As aeroplanes let people trip abroad in a short time, many foreigners transit to other regions. Indeed, as there are no restrictions on the number of travellers, metropolitan cities in a region become very crowded. The citizens might feel uncomfortable because they need to line up and wait when shopping. Watching movies, and visiting amusement parks.
Furthermore
, many refugees come to find jobs and earn money. Local people might struggle to find jobs as the opening positions are limited. The government should regulate the number of accepting foreigners to calm the cities and increase employment opportunities.
However
, the countries can receive many benefits from the development of air travel. The citizens can learn about many cultures from travellers without going abroad.
For example
, Japanese people can enjoy authentic international foods
such
 as Korean and Spanish locally.
In addition
, foreigners bring advanced technology which helps with the groupthink of the country’s economy. As new technology is invented, the industries in the state will produce cutting-edge electronics, the country can export them and increase the country's export revenue. In conclusion, the development of aviation has several disadvantages to a region
such
 as crowded cities and unemployment.
However
, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because aviation promotes cultural diversity and technological development in a country.
Submitted by ebarionn0525 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: