The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that for high salary is the most important consideration for many

people

when choosing any field of work. In my view, while a high salary is indeed crucial, I believe that it should not be the only consideration because there are other important factors, as well.

To begin

with, it is important to acknowledge that the main reason for prioritizing high income is to cover increasing living costs.

This

is because

people

want a reasonable motivation to be able to go through the hardships of working

such

as travelling to

a remote areas

Correct the article-noun agreement

remote areas

a remote area

show examples

or spending longer times working.

For example

, in my country, there are many

people

who work abroad because of the high salaries they receive.

As a result

, they are indeed enjoying a sense of reward despite the fact that they spend a lot of time alone in a foreign country. Having said that, I would argue that high a salary should not be the top priority for those who have families. To illustrate

this

, while it is vital for everyone to secure their children’s needs, it is more important to spend more time with them rather than spend countless hours working. What is more, there are some

people

who keep thinking about the

pay rise or the salaries of different companies. As a consequence, those

people

become preoccupied and anxious and

this

might cause a negative effect on their mental health because they might develop depression and become unable to support their families. In conclusion, earning a lot of money is essential nowadays to secure life needs.

Nonetheless

, it is my opinion that it should not be the primary reason when choosing a career because living for a purpose

such

as supporting a family is more significant than just thinking about gaining more money.

Submitted by omarmohamed995 on Sat Sep 11 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
job satisfaction
long-term happiness
personal fulfillment
financial stability
passion
quality of life
work-life balance
career advancement
societal impact
income disparity
material success
monetary compensation
wealth accumulation
economic well-being

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The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers are widely used in education and teachers now play a less important role in the classroom than ever before. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your local council that the road in front of your house is damaged. In your letter, you should: tell him your name and where you are living describe the problem suggest what you want him to do for it.

international travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and moore tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages.