IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#consideration #career #job #income
There is no doubt that for high salary is the most important consideration for many
people
 when choosing any field of work. In my view, while a high salary is indeed crucial, I believe that it should not be the only consideration because there are other important factors, as well.
To begin
 with, it is important to acknowledge that the main reason for prioritizing high income is to cover increasing living costs.
This
 is because
people
 want a reasonable motivation to be able to go through the hardships of working
such
 as travelling to
a remote areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
remote areas
a remote area
show examples
or spending longer times working.
For example
, in my country, there are many
people
 who work abroad because of the high salaries they receive.
As a result
, they are indeed enjoying a sense of reward despite the fact that they spend a lot of time alone in a foreign country. Having said that, I would argue that high a salary should not be the top priority for those who have families. To illustrate
this
, while it is vital for everyone to secure their children’s needs, it is more important to spend more time with them rather than spend countless hours working. What is more, there are some
people
 who keep thinking about the
next
 pay rise or the salaries of different companies. As a consequence, those
people
 become preoccupied and anxious and
this
 might cause a negative effect on their mental health because they might develop depression and become unable to support their families. In conclusion, earning a lot of money is essential nowadays to secure life needs.
Nonetheless
, it is my opinion that it should not be the primary reason when choosing a career because living for a purpose
such
 as supporting a family is more significant than just thinking about gaining more money.
Submitted by omarmohamed995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • job satisfaction
  • long-term happiness
  • personal fulfillment
  • financial stability
  • passion
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • societal impact
  • income disparity
  • material success
  • monetary compensation
  • wealth accumulation
  • economic well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: