Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no long pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention

advertisements

to seek an idea of the thing to be bought.

This

essay will examine the topic in detail with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, a group of

people

usually depend on commercial

advertisements

for buying something.

This

is because of a lack of awareness about the real face of few

announcements

Besides

this

, other categories are inspired by the peer group.

These kind

Change the determiner

This kind

These kinds

It appears that the plural demonstrative These is modifying the singular noun kind. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

show examples

people

do buy things blindly just to make

show-off

Correct article usage

a show-off

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples

However

, the final set of humans are lazy one, who does not like to spend

time

for choosing the best. So, these

people

depend on

advertisements

all the

time

to do

purchase

Fix the agreement mistake

purchases

It seems that purchase may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

. To summarize, there are many categories of

people

who do shopping by trusting the

announcements

On the contrary

, many other

people

never follow the

advertisements

to do shopping. They believe that

Remove the comma

apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples

advertisements

are like making the truth. Along with

this

, these

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

It seems that group may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

people

even like to spend some quality

time

to select

Change the verb form

selecting

To select doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples

things.

However

, a study conducted by Rajiv Gandhi University, India proved that women are more

shopaholic

Fix the agreement mistake

shopaholics

It seems that shopaholic may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples

rathe than men and

morever

Correct your spelling

moreover

The word morever is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, they even strictly follow the

advertisements

to do purchase. To summarize, some

people

used to value money more. So they never trust

announcements

blindly to do shopping.

Finally

, both the view has its own pros and cons. In my opinion nothing wrong

Change preposition

with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

watching

advertisements

but should not follow

this

blindly.

Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on Sat Sep 11 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+

After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 4.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 9.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word Count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion?
To solve the growing housing problem, societies are being built on the outskirts of large cities. Many people are against this destruction of the countryside. While this is essential to accommodate the influx of people in the city, it may also create environmental issues. This essay shall cover why it is necessary to build homes away from the main cities.
4.5
band
Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages?
The world is becoming a ‘Global Village’ more and more each day. Globalisation has increased the spread of fashion, advertising, brands, food and TV channels so people around the world share the same lifestyle. In my opinion, the advantages are more relevant than the disadvantages.
5.5
band
Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Do you agree or disagree?
The number of households where both partners work are steadily on the rise and that is hardly surprising. Women have already proved that they are capable of performing just as well as men on the professional stage. Some people believe that when both partners have full-time jobs, they should divide the housework evenly between them. I totally agree with this view.
9
band
People tend to work longer hours nowadays. People say that working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their families and the society, so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays people seem to be working for longer hours. As a result, they feel it is having negative impacts on themselves, their families and society. That's why it has been proposed that working hours should be restricted. In my opinion, I agree with the proposition since I believe folks need to be in a healthy physical and mental state to accomplish goals. The essay below highlights the adverse effects caused due to the issue and the importance of restricting toiling time.
7.5
band
Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Some would argue that the number of museums takes entry fees, whereas some others are free of charge. This essay will argue that despite there being some demerits of charging fees for admission, benefits of being charged for entry in museums outweigh any drawbacks.

Need a higher score on IELTS Writing?

Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no long pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages?

Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Do you agree or disagree?

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. People say that working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their families and the society, so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?