Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no long pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Advertisements
play an important role in the day to day life of humans. Nowadays,
people
are more influenced by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
announcements
which
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject the announcements. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
of no use mostly. By the same
time
, a set of folks neglect
this
very intelligently. I strongly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
people
can definitely watch
advertisements
to seek an idea of the thing to be bought.
This
essay will examine the topic in detail with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, a group of
people
usually depend on commercial
advertisements
for buying something.
This
is because of a lack of awareness about the real face of few
announcements
.
Besides
this
, other categories are inspired by the peer group.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds

It appears that the plural demonstrative These is modifying the singular noun kind. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

show examples
of
people
do buy things blindly just to make
show-off
Correct article usage
a show-off

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
.
However
, the final set of humans are lazy one, who does not like to spend
time
for choosing the best. So, these
people
depend on
advertisements
all the
time
to do
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases

It seems that purchase may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. To summarize, there are many categories of
people
who do shopping by trusting the
announcements
.
On the contrary
, many other
people
never follow the
advertisements
to do shopping. They believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
advertisements
are like making the truth. Along with
this
, these
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups

It seems that group may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of
people
even like to spend some quality
time
to select
Change the verb form
selecting

To select doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
things.
However
, a study conducted by Rajiv Gandhi University, India proved that women are more
shopaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
shopaholics

It seems that shopaholic may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
rathe than men and
morever
Correct your spelling
moreover

The word morever is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, they even strictly follow the
advertisements
to do purchase. To summarize, some
people
used to value money more. So they never trust
announcements
blindly to do shopping.
Finally
, both the view has its own pros and cons. In my opinion nothing wrong
in
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
watching
advertisements
but should not follow
this
blindly.
Submitted by divyahemakumar2017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Need a higher score on IELTS Writing?
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.