Some people say that modern innovation brings a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

The flourishing development of modernization nowadays is considered to improve people living standards.

However

, some arguments argued that the problems of it are overweight its advantages.

This

essay aims to agree with

this

statement and prove that they might harm local communities. It is undeniable that modern invention plays an important role in our daily lives. In the case of face–to–face business, people must travel and worked place to place in the past.

However

, thanks to modern technology today, it is convenient for them to work from their home. The citizens take benefit from that when they are not allowed to waste time commuting as well as increasing the satisfaction in their work-life balance. Other than that, the growth of online transactions is

also

beneficial for residents

such

as online shopping, online banking, which allow customers to stay at home and implement plenty of commercial trade as well as online purchasing without moving. It is not only convenient for customers but

also

rise job opportunities in the field of transportation.

On the other hand

, there are some drawbacks, which still exist

besides

its benefits. Because of working online, people nowadays tend to get lazy and spend a long hour on their computer, which leads to a severe case of getting diseases related to obesity, vision issues, or high blood pressure. In term of online transaction, the risks of email hacking and bank hacking are more and more seriously and the organizations who provide these services must spend a huge amount of budget and time to fix.

In addition

, the growth of the transportation industry is

also

the main reason, which leads to the case of overpopulation when suburban residents tend to relocate to the capital city to take these chances. The consequence is that the fear of the community is more severe when they use modern technology, and the issue of overpopulation is unsolved. In conclusion,

although

the modern renovation has brought society plenty of advantages, there are some drawbacks added.

However

, it is an unexpected outcome and can be fixed in the future, it is difficult to deny the efficiency of modernization in our lives.

Submitted by duyanhoppa1706 on Wed Sep 15 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that modern innovation brings a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

today ,most of people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger.is it a positive or negtaive development in your opinion?to what extent do you support the devlopment?

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in cities.what are the reasons? Do advantages of their developmenth outweigt it's disadvantages

Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

People nowadays are using too much packaging, and this can have negative effects on the environment. What effects can a large amount of packaging cause to the environment? What can be done to solve this problem?

Some employers think that format academic qualification are more important than life experience and personal qualify qualify. when they look for an employee but is it and the cause? It is positive or negative development